Word Count: 766 Date: Fri, 20 Feb 2009 8:36 AM
How To Be More Resilient: Manage Upwards
How can you possibly manage someone above you? You do not have their experience or skill. You do not have authority over them. You cannot give them instructions. If you try it and get it wrong, it could be career limiting!
On the other hand, it is possible for you to influence anyone with whom you come in contact. The more influencing skill you have, the more chance there is that you will be able to achieve your goals and objectives by aligning yourself with others. Anyone can be influential. And anyone can be influenced!
Are you one of the many people who feel disempowered and frustrated at work? Do you find yourself saying things like: I cannot do anything about that. It is not my job! Do you hear yourself talking about how They do not communicate properly, or that you are waiting for Them to make a decision?
When you know how to influence and manage upwards, you can empower yourself and start to feel quite differently about your working life.
Managing upwards requires many of the same skills that one needs to manage downwards, although there is usually a higher level of risk involved. Because of that, you need to plan your strategy and your conversations more carefully.
Establish your position.
Managing upwards is easier when you have a good relationship with your manager based on your performance and the support, respect and assistance you give to him or her. Build your reputation by meeting standards and deadlines, and by fulfilling promises and expectations. Any conversation has a better chance of success when it starts from a point of mutual respect.
Plan every conversation on a win win basis.
Look at the situation from the perspective of your boss, to find the win win that works for both of you. For example, you may want a pay increase. Your boss, on the other hand, needs to reward everyone fairly. If you want a win win conversation, you will need to adjust your own win to take into account the need for fair remuneration. If all you really want is an increase, then you are going in on a win lose basis and so you may as well bully and threaten!
Make the conversation safe.
When someone feels unsafe in a conversation they tend to react by shutting down or by becoming defensive. Remember that your boss can also feel unsafe! If he or she senses that you are being critical, blaming, accusing, sarcastic or disrespectful, they will start to feel unsafe.
These attitudes start in your head and are then conveyed in your gestures, tone of voice and general body language. You may be unaware of the impact you are creating. When you start by focusing on a win win outcome for the conversation, your head is in a good space and your behaviours will reflect the same.
Start with the facts.
Do your homework. Be sure you have all the facts at your finger tips before you open a conversation with your boss. However, allow for your boss having facts to which you do not have access. Open the conversation with the facts you have, then pause and check that you are correct.
Explain your position.
When you have confirmed your facts you can express how you see or feel about the situation. Choose your words carefully. Be tentative. Watch for reaction. Remember that a very little critical feedback goes a long way! Your intention is to get into conversation around the issue, not to win an argument. Maintaining the safety of the conversation for both of you is critical.
Come to agreement.
When you get into dialogue around an issue and the conversation remains safe, moving to consideration of alternative actions or solutions is a natural progression. There is one condition however. You must not try to push your boss into doing things your way! You may influence, but you cannot coerce or instruct.
One outcome of a conversation with your boss may be to plant some ideas to which you will return later. Patience can be a virtue!
Managing upwards requires the same skills you need when you exert influence over anyone with whom you are in contact. The stakes are usually higher in a conversation with your boss so conversations need to be planned with more than usual care.
About the Author
Maureen Collins trains people how to handle difficult conversations, on difficult topics, with difficult people in her consulting practice, Straight Talk. She has a B.Sc. degree in Psychology from Edinburgh University and over 25 years of consulting experience. She consults in communication in the workplace. Go to http://www.straight-talk.co.za for free downloads and Straight Talk Tips.
Rate, comment or bookmark this article
Seed Newsvine
Comments 
No comments posted.
Add Comment
Popular Articles in this cathegory
1: Cultural Differences And International Business Communication2: 10 Good Conversation Starters that Work Everytime
3: A Character Reference Letter Can Last Forever So Be Very Careful How You Write It
4: How to Resolve Communication Problems with Colleagues so You Work Together More Effectively
5: Miscommunication Hampers Workplace Conflict Resolution
This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
