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What Do Your Conversations Say About The Culture Of Your Organisation?

The culture of an organisation is reflected in the relationships between the people in that organisation: between managers and their employees, across functions, within teams and between colleagues. Every conversation that takes place within these relationships is a microcosm of the relationship and the overall culture to which it contributes.

Too often however, we hold conversations that do not help to build the kind of cultures we talk about and really want to work in.

Just do it the way I tell you!

If you listen to the manager who has been around for a while, knows his job and can see a mistake at ten paces, you will find that he does not waste time on soft words of encouragement or positive feedback to his people. He works hard and prides himself on his action orientation.

His conversations are short, sharp and one way. He tells people what has gone wrong, and exactly what he wants them to do to fix it. All he requires in return is a nod of understanding and willingness to comply.

While people may respect his experience, his authoritative style does little to gain the commitment of his followers and less to develop their capabilities. He does the thinking for everyone. He complains about their lack of initiative, drive and motivation. They feel frustrated about the lack of freedom to make decisions or opportunities to offer ideas and suggestions.

A culture with conversations like this is one where 20% of the people carry 80% of the responsibility, and where the energies and capabilities of the majority are never tapped.

I know it!

It is difficult to have a conversation with the person who always knows better and always has to have the last word. Every conversation is a win lose battle that they are determined to win. He, or she, seldom listens to what others have to say for any longer than it takes to form an interruption. Their view of the world is bounded by their own knowledge and experience and their intolerance of different views.

Their colleagues keep conversations short, stick to essential work issues and, if they are in disagreement, avoid speaking up at all. The consequence for the work culture is that people become isolated and relationships remain shallow. Many alternative ideas and good suggestions are never spoken and never considered.

The fact is, I think.

There are many people who cannot distinguish the facts of a situation from their own opinions and argue equally strongly and emotionally for both. It is great to have them on your side when an emotional appeal will carry the day, but do not go to them for rational argument or consideration of alternatives. In meetings they tend to hog the air space, holding forth until others give up.

They cause poor quality decisions to be made because the decision making process does not include rational discussion of alternatives.

Talk , talk, talk

Then there are the folk who simply talk, and talk, and talk. They would not dream of using ten words when a hundred would do. You spend conversations with them wondering what the point is and wishing they would get to it. It is hard to interrupt them and when you do get a word in, they do not seem to be listening to you anyway.

They are interested only in what they themselves have to say and do not realize how unapproachable they have become. In the long run people around them shut down and the only views and ideas they are aware of are their own.

The behaviours described above do little for development of open communication, good relationships or cohesive cultures. Mostly, they tend to shut down communication and lead to cultures where a great deal of useful information is unavailable to the decision makers. If you decide to change one of these cultures, you need to have very well developed skills in making conversations safe and talking straight.

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