Control Your Reactions

Why does rejection hurt us so? Think back to when you were a small child and the, almost knee jerk, reaction to hearing the word “no” from our parents resulted in screaming tantrums and sulking. For many of us, this child-like reaction to rejection still exists in our minds even though we temper our outward behavior. As a sales professional in the working world, how often has your inner reaction to hearing the word no from a prospect been to stamp your feet and scream and shout in protest?

Rejection can be a debilitating force that drains the precious energy sales professionals need to go from one sales call to the next. It can be a terrible thing to hear the word no after weeks of preparation and effort but what can be even worse is our chosen reaction to it. If you allow a rejection to fester on your mind, to invade your thoughts and lessen your spirit, you experience low productivity, poor results and limited rewards. You must control the reaction you have to rejection in order to succeed in the sales field.

Take the following example: John is an outside salesperson for a computer software firm. He has spent weeks maneuvering around gatekeepers to finally get to the decision maker of a large potential client. After pitching a few different people on the phone, he finally sets an appointment to deliver his presentation in person. He is unsuccessful in his attempt to sign the client and they suggest he try again in around six months.

On his way back to the car, John’s inner dialog sounds like this: I can’t believe those guys. They messed me around for weeks and now they want me to jump through all these hoops again in six months time. I guess that must be what I am to those guys, just a corporate lackey here to dance on command for their amusement. They wouldn’t treat an Accountant that way, or one of the Tech Installers. They see me coming and know that they don’t have to show me any respect because I need the sale. It really sucks to get turned down in front of a room full of people like that. I guess I don’t command any more respect than that being at the bottom of the heap.

In this long walk back to his car, John has taken that one rejection and applied it to his entire career. He now believes that he can’t succeed no matter how hard he tries because this rejection proves that he is the world’s worst salesperson. He need not even bother trying with his next sales call, as they are bound to have the same reaction. John has even gone one step further, to lessen his worth as a human being. A particularly harsh rejection can make you do that.

Action step: write out on a 3x5 index card the question “who am I?” Answer this question with a list of positive attributes of which you are very proud. The next time you are in a difficult situation, read the list out loud to remind yourself of your greatest and most notable qualities.

I call this strategy Logical Separation. It is a powerful way to make a distinction between the rejection you must experience on a regular basis and your worth as a human being. We are bound to react when we hear the word no but we must learn to control that reaction. To succeed in this field you must be able to approach each new sales situation with confidence, determination and great energy. When you learn to control the way you react to rejection, you will diminish its ability to wreak havoc on your sales career.

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