How to Have a Positive Outcome in Your Child's IEP

Families who have children with disabilities often face an uphill battle when dealing with school systems. All children with disabilities have IEP's or Individual Education Plans. These plans are put together so the school system and parents can agree what goals to work on during a period of time in the school year. Schools often take the brunt of a parents frustration because parents feel that they are not getting what they want. In some cases the school system is to blame, but in many cases if the parents took a different approach, then things may work out differently.

Families who have children with special needs have to take a proactive approach to working with their school district and obtaining the necessary services. To start this process, parents need to be visable in the school. What this means is that parents need to get to know as many people in the school as possible. Forming relationships with the Principle, Vice Principle, Special Education Director, PTA Board and teachers is essential. Having relationships with the administration most likely take down the walls that most school systems have up. This means attending pre school year functions, after school activities and if one parent does not work, volunteering at school. This will show the school that you are willing to work with them to make your child's school exprieence the best it can be.

Know your rights. Schools are mandated to provide a parent with their rights before the IEP begins. Make sure that if you are concerned to call ahead and obtain a copy so you can read it over and understand every aspect of it. If things happen to get heated, your knowledge of your rights can make a big difference.

Be reasonable. Many parents who are frustrated with school systems do not realize that they are asking unreasonable requests from the school system. If you have a child with autism and they are non verbal, do not demand that they attend fourth grade math class for the social aspect, or demand that he or she is fully included. Doing this will only make it more difficult for your child, but also for the other students and the teachers as well. Before you go into the meeting try and get an understanding of what the set up is going to be. If you want your child to learn social skills, request that they be a part of specials such as Art , PE or Music. Learn about the schools resource room, inclusion policy and if there are special teachers for a disability.

Understand you child. Parents who know the capabilities of their children typically have a better time in IEP's. You need to take a step back and be objective. We all want our children to be the best that they can be, but forcing a child into a typical reading class or history class when they are aggressive or can't read will only show an administration that you do not know your child. Before you make requests take an inventory of your child's abilities and challenges.

Be informed. Knowledge is power. Too many parents who utilize out side therapy, never do any follow up or try and understand what is going on in each session. For example, parents of children with autism often ask or demand that a school provide 40 hours of ABA for their child. The fact that few districts can pull that off is one thing, but if you as a parent know nothing about ABA and do not demonstrate that you are going to follow up with your child at home to help the school, there is a good chance that your request will be met with some push back. It is extremely important to know what therapy your child is doing outside of school and be able to talk about what your child has accomplished and what they are working on. If you can show a school that you are working as hard as they are, then you will probably have a better out come in your IEP.

Be ready to compromise. IEP's are sometimes all about compromises. Go into the meeting with a hierarchy of what is most important to you and some things that are less important. Be willing to not force the school to deliver on some of the lesser requests, and push more for those higher on your list. By showing the school you are willing to compromise, will help you form a trusting relationship with them.

Deliver on what you say you are going to do. You will probably have at least two IEP's a year and depending on the severity of your child's disability will have them for his or her entire school career. If you say you are going to do something, make sure you follow up and do it. Consistently not performing will show a school that you are not willing to do the work.

Finally, be positive. Many of our educators are doing the best they can with the resources they have. Their goal is not to fail or make your child's life difficult but to educate them. Having a positive parent only boosts morale. Make sure to point out in the IEP the good things that happened during the year. Do not always harp on the negative.

Having a child with special needs is extremely difficult. Facing a showdown with a school system can make life miserable. As I stated above there are a few bad apples out there and no mater what you do, they will not work with you and unfortunately lead a family to arbitration and sometimes lawsuits. For the majority of us, the school staff is here to help. If we do our part then our children will have the opportunity to have a great school experience.

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Comments

Thu, 1 Oct 2009 at 2:42 AM, by Tracy
Just wanted to say I really enjoyed reading your article. I am a special ed teacher of 20 years and have worked with my district as an inclusion coordinator for my district. Thanks for not making us the "enemy" for a change. Everything I read and I do mean everything talks about how the school system is negligent, uncaring, restraint happy, crazy and uneducated about Autism, etc. Thanks for another point of view. For once I feel supported!

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