Information on Autism...Coping as the Parent of an Autistic Child

Most parents will tell you that having an autistic child is exceedingly difficult and incredibly rewarding all wrapped up in a fairly messy bundle. No matter what information on autism you find, it won't prepare you for the Monday where everything will go really well and there will be no upsets, and the next day -which is no different- you will be climbing the walls. Simply as a matter of keeping your sanity, you will need to find ways to cope so that you can always be there for your child. Here are some ways of coping when you have a child with autism.

Local Support Groups

It would be invaluable to find a local support group in your area for parents with autistic kids. They will understand exactly the stresses and strains that you are going through. They have either been in the situation or are going through the exact same things you are. Sometimes just having another sympathetic ear while you share about the burdens on you and your spouse can make a huge difference. They often have many suggestions that can really make a difference in your day to day living. And of course sometimes it is really helpful to talk to someone other than a professional like a doctor or therapist who is a little "removed" from the practical side of the condition.

Journals

Writing in a journal can be a wonderful release and coping mechanism. In a journal you can express feelings, thoughts and ideas. many parents find that their journal is an opportunity to vent all the frustration that builds up as a parent of an autistic child. No one else should read the journal. It is your private place to vent. Sometimes just writing alone can really help relieve stress and anxiety. And remember simply because you write it down doesn't mean you intend to do everything you write. As a separate activity you can also keep track of the daily behaviors your child exhibits. This can be enormously helpful to doctors.

Get away

Everyone needs time to themselves. This is true whether you are dealing with an autistic child, any other medical problem or let's face it, just life. Find a qualified care giver for your child or a trusted relative preferably one who knows what to expect, and go out. Take the opportunity to go on a date with your spouse, or perhaps just to have some time to yourself. Go to a museum, paint a picture, see a movie, go shopping, all things it becomes difficult to do with your autistic child. If you can't arrange to get out of the house, after your child has gone to sleep, read a book, watch a film or take a long hot bath (it works for men and women). Just give yourself time to unwind, to think about your needs. In the long run by taking care of yourself, it will make things better for you and your child.

Ask for help

Every parent tries to be a "super parent". Very often they do not want to ask for help because that means they cannot do it alone- and shouldn't they be able to handle this? While this may appear laudable, don't do it! Having a child with autism requires help. Going it alone will ultimately completely stress you out. If you are stressed and overwhelmed it is not good for you or your child. Let's face it sometimes we all need help. If you are trying a new treatment and things aren't working it makes sense to ask the doctor to help by making a change. It should be the same in every sphere of life, ask someone to help with the errands because very often it is too hard to take your autistic child out with you. Getting someone to do simple tasks for you can save time and frustrations. If you need help ask. No one can read your mind, you have to tell them you need help. Most people will be only too willing to help.

Having an autistic child is a tough job. Having different mechanisms for coping will make life easier not only for you but also for your child. A calm and stress free parent can provide your autistic child with the love, support and secure foundation they need.

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