New Moms: Avoid Asking 'Am I the Right Woman for the Job?'

There are many women that will tell you that motherhood was a dream of theirs since they were little girls. Playing house and mothering every doll and pet then could get their hands on. Then there are other women that will tell you motherhood was nowhere in their agenda for their life and it just sorted happened. It doesn't really matter which girl you were because right now, we are in the same group... we are moms.

I can honestly tell you that being a new mom brings on a lot of self doubt. It is probably the one time in your life when your self confidence will be at the lowest. There are days when all you want to do is cry and there are days when you will pray that you don't "screw" up your baby. But there are also days when you will realize that there is nothing in this world that you would rather be doing other than being a mom.

The anxiety over whether you are a good mom or not will never really go away, really all it does is hide out for awhile until it decides to show up again. My friend recently told me of one of her experiences with her children that tested that "good mom" paranoia. Her 9 month old kept hitting and biting her despite stern words telling him it was not acceptable. Sadly, she kept doubting herself and wondering if she had done anything wrong. Of course, the reality is that all babies develop different habits that are more about exploring and experimenting than anything else, so there will be plenty of things your baby does that might confuse you or drive you crazy!

The bottom line is that to deal with this self-doubt we have to build resilience and confidence in as many ways as we can. Investing time and energy into our own wellbeing is definitely a critical part of this.

And what is a good mom anyway? Well, I think that everyone has their own definition for what a good mom is so really all I can do is offer you mine. A good mom is a mom that loves her child/children unconditionally. Know right now that they are not perfect; there is nothing that you can do to make them perfect and just because they make a mistake or behave badly doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

Being a mom is not easy and unfortunately there isn't a class you can take a test to pass to give you the "ok" to be a mom. You have to trust your instincts. There isn't anyone that knows your baby better then you do. And each and everyday you will find that you know more then you did the day before.

Understand that it is okay to let dad help. Letting your husband share in the experience of parenting doesn't take away from your ability to be a good mom. It doesn't matter if you are able to do it quicker, let him do it and let him do it his way.

Accept that motherhood is full of constant surprises and challenges. Accepting that your baby will develop good, bad, funny and interesting habits is just par for the course. Just be their mom. You know what is best for you baby and you know that you will do what you can to make sure that your child is cared for and taken care of. You are a good mom.

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