Deceived by the Shining Red Apple

Have you ever experienced making a choice that was similar to picking a beautiful, shining apple, biting into it and finding out it was rotten on the inside? Looks can be deceiving, can't they?

We make many choices in our lives that often lead to a similar scenario, from picking friends, to taking a job, to attending a workshop. It sounded (or looked) great, but later you found out it wasn't as it seemed. Don't judge a book by its cover.

This is so much like compulsive shopping. I've written about this subject before, but after seeing the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic recently, I think the subject is worth a second look.

I found the movie fairly entertaining. From the title, it's easy to figure out what the movie's about. It's a story of a young, career minded woman who can't control her spending. She buys and buys and buys. Her apartment is chock-full of clothes, purses, shoes etc.

Compulsive shoppers are driven to buy, whereas "normal" people purchase what they need and what they can afford. Shopping and buying act as "fixes" for spenders. When the "high" wears off, the urge to spend returns.

This was clearly the case for "Becky" in the movie. What disturbed me was that people laughed. It was seen as entertaining that piles of clothes fell out of her closet, that the creditors were chasing her down, and Becky had the ability to dodge them ... at least for most of the movie.

And, like the pretty red apple, she was perfect on the outside. She wore beautiful clothes and everything matched; the envy of anyone around her... until it started to unravel. Then you saw the ugly, rotten part.

Well, I don't want to spoil it for you, but to make my point, it all ended well. She paid her creditor and got the man and still dressed beautifully.

Unfortunately, this is not the true life of a compulsive spender. It can get much uglier and take much, much longer to reach a positive outcome, if ever.

In today's economy, when money is tight, the Shopaholics continue to be in full force; shopping for sales and in thrift stores, which can give an extra hit: "Look at the bargain I just got!"

I recognize this disorder in the behavior. It's not so much about how much money someone spends, but it's the mood-altering effect that compulsive shopping has on an individual.

These questions can give you some insight into your own shopping behavior:

1. If you have money left at the end of the month, do you spend it?
2. Do you make minimum payments on your credit cards?
3. Do you feel anxious or nervous on days you are not shopping?
4. Does buying something make you feel better?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, please take a look at your behavior. Decide that the next time you have the urge to spend, you'll stop and explore the feeling behind that "urge."

This is an opportunity to dig for gold to find out what's missing in your life and to seek it out. It's not about buying another pair of black shoes.

Take the time to explore and gain an understanding of why you spend the way you do. You can either write about it or talk to a trained professional, or a trusted friend. Seek help. Like in the movie, there is a solution.

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