A Cancer Survivor Story: Forgiving Yourself

When I design cancer/illness-healing strategies, my first intention is to discover what emotional issues may have led to manifesting the cancer or illness. In my work with cancer patients and survivors I have found that 95% of the time there are blockages with forgiving oneself or forgiving someone else. This was certainly the case in my journey. When the phone rang that day and I learned that I had cancer, it made perfect sense to me. I had been a dark place for a few years around resenting someone; someone who really didn't deserve my resentment.

I have come far in the last four years with my understanding of healing cancer or any illness. I knew during the 4 year cancer journey that emotions played a big part in manifesting illness but nothing to the extent I now understand it.

I encourage you to approach this part of your healing with unbending determination. Get in there and figure out what the issues are and if you are a survivor and not the done the emotional work, GET IT DONE!! No one wants to be hooked up to another chemo bottle. All emotional work is a win-win, you can lose nothing by trying.

There are many strategies to bring forgiveness into your spirit. If what I suggest in following chapters doesn't feel good then find one that does-just find one! Remember, there is nothing more powerful than intention. If you make a little effort, the Creator will come the rest of the way. I have seen this in my own life and client's lives-over and over again. Just come a few steps, my friend!

After I was finished with treatment and started to get back on my feet, I went to see someone I trusted, a mentor and coach of mine (thank you, Janis) and said, "I have to be honest with you about something, I have been on this spiritual journey for 20 years but I just cannot connect the dots around forgiving myself". She looked at me and chuckled! I said, "What are you laughing at?" "I had the same problem," she said, "until a mentor of mine said, forgiving yourself is about for giving to God. The essence of that embodied in this little prayer: "God, I give over to you all these feeling of guilt (or whatever your own feeling is) and I ask for you take them for me right now, I am ready for you to receive them. Thank You. Amen."

Like good soldier I tried this prayer right away and it was like hundreds of pounds lifted off of me. And it wasn't only guilt that I gave to God but resentment and anger and many other feelings. It was a long list! It took me a while to understand this little prayer. It was like a Zen Koan! I believe the Creator likes nothing more than when we take responsibility for our own feelings. "I give over to you", infers that we know we created these feelings. And the other part is that we are taking action to let go of these feelings by those words, we are not excepting God to do the work for us. If we take a few steps, God will come the rest of the way!

If you read The Journey by Brandon Bays, you will discover many stories how forgiveness healed cancer! Bottom line: you don't want to be carrying around these feeling of anger or resentment or guilt or what ever it is, inside you one moment longer. All healing is multi-dimensional. This is one dimension that is integral to victory and I know you will settle for nothing less than complete and total VICTORY!

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