The Fine Art Of Removal And Storage

My husband and I have had enough of the PC culture in the UK. It has taken over everything so that one can't do or say anything without being chastised or ridiculed for fear offending some minority group or another. Today, I read that 'The Three Little Pigs' are to be banned for fear of upsetting those who have taken against pork.

I was trying to fit in with the locals, trying to get past the village mentality that treats me like an outcast because I'm 'her that lives in the big house'. I had organised a hog roast and invited all my neighbours but now I'm worried that if someone in the village takes against pork, am I going to be hauled up in front of the authorities?

It is precisely because of this attitude that my husband and I are taking steps to move overseas. What with all this technology making the world such a small place, he can run his business just as easily from the South of France as he can from Hertfordshire.

To be quite honest, we could do with a holiday first and we decide to co-ordinate the two events arranging to have a couple of months on the yacht just off the coast of Provence. Not one to boast, but my house is crammed with antiques and fine art, as well as my husband's inherited wine collection. Neither of us have the time or inclination to pack all this.

I have, though, found time in my busy schedule to seek out a removals and storage company who will undertake this task for me. Apparently, they will come in at a time convenient to myself and my husband, pack up all our goods with the delicate care they require and then project manage the removal and storage of the entire contents of our home.

Now this is the kind of service I like. A packing, removal and storage service in one? This is the type of service that has put the Great into Great Britain - and I find them just as we are leaving! However, I have duly noted the fact that they operate an international service too so I will be keeping them in my contacts list.

Well, as expected, our beautiful house sold quickly. My husband doesn't think we were asking enough but I believe it was all done to my good taste in the decor that had buyers snapping our hand orf for it. And, as promised, the removal company came in early on Monday morning to take care of the removals and storage.

One service I hadn't expected was the way everything was so well documented. The condition of every item was noted before being expertly packed. During this service I was mortified to have a tiny tear pointed out in my prized Van Gogh painting. I am absolutely devastated but the company assure me they have experts trained in the art of restoration and a repair is immediately arranged before it goes into storage.

Everything else goes without a hitch and our home is now in the safe hands of the removal and storage company. As soon as we arrive on board our yacht, I contact the company who are tracking our home contents and find that it has all safely arrived in their Paris storage facility where it will be stored in temperature controlled conditions and protected by all the latest high tech gadgetry until we are ready for it.

While relaxing on the yacht, I am free to quiz the on land estate agents, only the exclusive ones of course, to find our next home. Eventually, we settle on a beautiful chateaux in Provence that I am assured have very friendly locals. There's nothing quite like mixing with the peasants to bring one back down to earth.

When we visit our new property, I am a little concerned about the narrow, windy roads and how we are going to get all of our belongings there. I convey these concerns to the removals and storage company and they guarantee all our prized possessions will arrive on time, in perfect condition and on time.

Our moving in day, May 24th arrives, and I disembark from my yacht. On arrival at the chateaux, I find the removals and storage company have far surpassed all our expectations. Our items have been delivered and unpacked, complete with the Van Gogh looking just perfect.

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