Failure: Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt

What causes failure? What is the solution? For years, I asked myself these questions; because I mostly failed. My failure pattern started in childhood. Riding the school bus, students teased and beat me regularly. "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees . . . ," they rhymed mockingly at me interspersed with punches, slaps, and pokes. Chink and Jap became my names. I dreaded riding that bus. Each bus ride gradually drained my confidence - filling me with fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Hence, the seeds of my failure pattern were sown, reaping hundreds of failures for me. Attempting brevity, I list only some of my failures.

In adolescence, a neighborhood girl Grace infatuated me. Grace and her brothers socialized with me and my brothers. We played kick-ball, board games, and listened to music. My infatuation with Grace obsessively grew. Romance for her intensified; but fear, uncertainty, and doubt eventually abated it. Romance abated, I never told Grace that I liked her. Likewise, for every attractive woman subsequently encountered, continuing until middle adulthood.

In early adulthood, I left college and joined the Army, left the Army and rejoined college, again left college and joined the workforce, changed jobs several times, rejoined college part-time, then changed college courses several times. I eventually completed college; however, fear, uncertainty, and doubt hindered perseverance. Taking several detours, I never really quit trying to complete college. For the few things that I completed, I detoured instead of directly completing them, wasting time.

In middle adulthood, I quit a career that I desired and long prepared for. One day, unexpectedly, I entered my work office, packed my belongings, loaded them into my car, and drove home. Afterwards, screening incoming phone calls, I ignored the letters sent by my former employer. I desired career prominence, but I quit. Fear, uncertainty, and doubt fatigued me into quitting.

I wondered why some people go directly for what they want, quickly obtaining it; while others detour, quit, or never try, wasting time or never obtaining what they want. Is there a scientific formula, if followed, guaranteeing success? Education is seemingly not of this formula; my doctoral friends desiring wealth live poorly. Only educational goals require education. Intelligence is seemingly not of this formula; we know professionals in football, baseball, boxing, wrestling, acting, or music who are successful but dim-witted. Talent? Yes. But talent is just another word for performance. What makes one perform well? Genetics? If so, then music, acting, wrestling, boxing, baseball, and football genes exist. Seemingly absurd, this is also unproven.

Fed up with failure, studying many success publications, I found the following:
1. Beliefs affect one's feelings
2. Feelings affect one's performance
3. Performance affects one's success

I found that success, being purposive, involves a scientific process; anyone using this scientific process succeeds. No matter what the goal is or how failure-ridden a person's past is, the scientific process works. It's mathematical. Applying this process, I repel failure and attract success - in all life areas.

I hope you enjoyed my story. Perspectively, this story saddens, amuses, or inspires. This story saddens, in that I suffered; amuses, in that I failed; inspires, in that I overcame. Teasing and beating me regularly, circumstance victimized me. I did not ask for this; it was forced upon me. This circumstance darkly shaped my thinking, coldly shaping my feelings, evasively shaping my behavior. Dark, cold, and evasive - the failure recipe. I evaded by detouring, quitting, or not trying; it became my failure pattern. However, by failing enough, I succeeded. Southward enough is north; eastward enough is west; failing enough is success.

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