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The Life and Times of Curtain Poles

In a far off distant land, many moons ago a community lived in peace, harmony and contentment. Who were they? They were curtain poles! Despite their many different personalities they had learned to get along just fine.

Unfortunately, their community was criticised, condemned and persecuted. People were jealous of their harmonious spirit. The world was moving forward and the curtain poles had to fight just to keep finials above water. A video game society had seemed to render the curtain poles irrelevant.

It was all well and good having a peaceful community but the future didnt look good for curtain pole village. Some began to struggle and wander off the tracks.

Queen Nikola, leader of the curtain poles decided she had endured enough of the downward spiral and wanted to emerge from the shadows the world had placed them in, now wasnt a good time to holdback or hide. She wanted to be noticed, she wanted to reinstate the prestige the curtain poles once possessed. She decided the only way to achieve this was with an uprising. Preparation would be in depth, all aspects of the invasion would be planned to the smallest detail. It was time for poles and tracks to be united and be let loose on the world!

The curtain poles had gathered together large stocks of wood and metal and began creating a variety of weapons. Sleek pine, slender walnut and solid oak spears were crafted along with smelted chrome, brass and silver. Putting on the war paint was also a finely tuned process but gallant and handsome they looked!

There was a new determination in curtain pole village; the atmosphere was poles apart from what it had been just a few years earlier. The soldiers stood tall and brave and waited for battle. All had their own insignia engraved onto their shields and helmets. They would enter battle in grand and exquisite style; all other home improvement accessories would be in awe of their couture look. The constellations looked down upon then, Orion smiled proudly at the army's grandeur.

Queen Nikola summoned the massive army before her, for she would lead the invasion herself. They would invade homes and businesses the world over. No stone would be left unturned in their quest for world domination. From Hampshire to Havana, from Basingstoke to Belgravia, from Lincoln to Los Angeles, the whole planet would feel the wrath of the curtain poles.

They would attack with stealth and speed, from all angles they would appear. By land, by air, by sea and even by monorail! Holdback, holdback, holdback! Queen Nikola cried, waiting for just the right moment.

Attack, Attack! This was it! The curtain poles and tracks moved with such skill and determination that the world was powerless to respond. Casualties were few because the curtain poles were merciful but victory was comprehensive and complete. They had succeeded in infiltrating every home and every life. Every window and every door bore the mark.

The famous battle of curtain pole hill happened long before my time but my great grandparents shared many, many stories about it and there have been some fascinating documentaries and movies made about it. I remember Sally Florentine and Edward Rockingham winning Oscars for their roles in The Charge of the Telescopic Curtain Pole. Although my favourite of course is Saving Private Finial, what a performance that was from Dominic Galleria!

Seed Newsvine

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