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Why My Biggest Fear is Failure

The older one gets, the more experiences, equaling to more successes and more failures. Everyone experienced failure early in life. There are those who failed so many times that he himself lost count. Slowly, failure becomes their biggest fear. This can affect these people so tremendously that it alters their perception on success and attempting to achieve it.

If you are one of these people, this article might prove useful to you. If you want to conquer your fear of failure, you should know the problem first before you can deal with it. A probable cause would be the failure of coping with stressors. Here is a stab at dissecting the root fearing failure in our society today.

What are stressors? These are things such as problems, personal issues, situations or challenges that cause stress. Stress is like a "load" on a system, however, with humans, it is usually internal. One person's reaction to a certain stressor is different from another. But, we all still have to cope with them. Coping and recovery from stress is called stress management, a very important step towards self-improvement. Below are types of stressors and what we can do to cope with them.

Environmental disturbances are high noise, UV light, irritating light, extremely hot and cold temperatures, colors and others. If necessary, you need to eliminate these disturbances. If that is not possible, stay away from it because it can really burn you out. If a new noisy neighbor parties all night for four times a week, your sleeping hours will probably be dramatically reduced. Research shows that the effect of noise to the human body is greatly detrimental to psychological and physical health.

Biochemical changes happens within the body that are influenced by external factors such as chemical substances introduced to the body and internal factors like changes the body experiences after physical and sports activities. Nicotine and caffeine alters body functions depending on the amount taken. Some people don't bother going to the physician if they feel something wrong with their body. But, it is important to consult medical help for early intervention in case you have a fatal disease.

Actual events and situations are things that we don't usually have control over. It can be a death of a loved one, an incredibly good or bad news, an impossibly difficult exam, a catastrophe (earthquakes, storms, tsunamis etc), time-constrained events etc. Since we have minimal control over these things, we must prepare ourselves psychologically. The key is preparation of things that may occur. Time management is essential.

Emotional and psychological stressors are triggered by our memory or imagination. These may be inspired by actual things happening such night dreams and day dreams, memories of an extremely happy or sad moment or obsession with a particular person or thing. The following are some emotional stressors and their examples:

Fear of being unprepared - If you are a college student and exams are nearing, you should be reading up days before the exam. Taking the test without studying might result in stress because you fear that you're going to fail the test because you are unprepared.

Fear of the unknown - A good example would be a new business venture. If you are a newbie at business and you haven't taken risks yet, getting involved in new things might be stressful. You fear that you will fail and lose money, your possessions, your credibility etc.

Fear not to disappoint figures of authority - In Japan, students as early as high school commit suicide if they don't get the grades they want or if they are not admitted in their university of choice. They fear failure of owing up to self-imposed demands and to the standards of their teachers, parents and society as a whole.

Fear what people might say - We are sometimes so concerned of what people say about us that we tend to take it to the extreme. If you get feedback from people that you are extremely noisy, sometimes you would just sit quietly at one corner. Thus, we lose our identity as an individual. We fear to fail at what others are expecting of us, no matter how unrealistic or how much it contradicts who we are.

A possible solution would be to try new hobbies to take your mind off worries and unrealistic expectations made by yourself and others. But, in the end, we need to confront unrealistic goals by setting levelheaded objectives for ourselves. Visit a councilor if you are having a hard time doing this. Remember that you are the only one who can stop yourself from succeeding.

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