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How Change occurs . . . from Fear to Fulfillment, Happiness and Success!

Tags: Change, Fulfillment, Happiness

Chris Peterson PhD, developer with Marty Seligman PhD of the VIA Signature Strengths (www.authentichappiness.org) asked, “Why do people find it so hard to change?” and answered, “People find it hard to change because change is hard.” That is more profound than it may first appear.

No doubt you have heard, "Practice something you want to change for 21 days and the change will occur." That may work if you want to start putting your wallet in your front pocket instead of your back, but does it work for stopping smoking, overeating, increasing your income or happiness? I believe the answer is, “NO!” I find Jean Piaget’s learning theory helpful. It helps explain why change can be so difficult and often frightening.

My oversimplified use of his learning theory follows:

* Disequilibrium – When we face a new task or a task changes we become disequilibrated. Think of a Jello mold sitting atop a table and the table is bumped and the Jello quivers and with each bump it quivers more.

* Assimilation – One of the reasons we enter disequilibrium is because we have little or no information about the unfamiliar and so we must gain knowledge to reduce “discomfort” in the new situation. The Jello vibrates, as the vibration dissipates the quivering slows and eventually stops.

* Accommodation – After we take in the new information we attempt to make a place for it in our lives/work/beliefs. As we do we become more “comfortable” and move back into equilibrium. The Jello has now dissipated the vibration and the quivering stops.

* Equilibrium – When we have mastered a task we feel comfortable, skilled and generally positive about the task and ourselves. Often mastery increases fulfillment and happiness.

The Jello is now still, but you can be sure someone will bump the table again.

Why is this important? Because, if we understand that change is going to occur again and again we may more easily accept change. Even more importantly we may learn to embrace many more changes than we otherwise would.

Many people fail using the 21 day rule for things more complex than moving their wallet from one place to another.

Remember change is hard but CHANGE IS VERY POSSIBLE!

James Prochaska, John Norcross and Carlo Diclemente researched and analyzed data from interventions to discover why some people make successful changes and many others do not. Their book Changing for Good outlines stages of change.

* Pre-contemplation – This is active resistance to change and is typified by defenses such as denial, minimization, rationalization and more. My belief is that it is very helpful to know this is the first stage of change and is NECESSARY for change to occur. It in essence is saying, “NO CHANGE IS NEEDED,” even though evidence to the contrary is present. NOTE: A caveat is warranted. A man smokes cigarettes and his family shares their concern. The man does not deny that smoking is a danger to his health. He acknowledges his family’s concern but then says, “I hear your concern and I know the consequences but I like to smoke cigarettes and so I plan to continue.” This is not pre-contemplation, this is preference. Whether we agree with his choice or not, does not change the fact that he prefers to smoke.

* Contemplation – Awareness of and attempts to understand the “problem” so that change may take place. However, the attempt to understand along with other obstacles can create a quagmire so that we become stuck thinking about change. Many in this stage are fearful that they don’t have enough information to make the change, thus they end up contemplating a “perfect change” rather than change. Because of this and the effort change requires, many become ambivalent about proceeding to the next phase. Others immediately take action which is almost always a recipe for failure. Why does taking action at this point predict failure? Because even though preparation is the next stage, action occurs because of pressure from themselves or others.

* Preparation – This is simply getting ready. Some questions that are helpful:

What is my first step?
What barriers may I expect?
What precautions might I take?
What will change look like so I recognize it when it occurs?
Who do I need to be my support?

Many find this difficult because they want to take action right now. Don’t do it. Prepare adequately and expect surprises. “Life is what happens when we’re busy making plans.” (Attributed to John Lennon.)

* Action – Taking actions consistent with the desired outcome given the knowledge gained in the previous stages. (Sometimes there is a tendency to lose sight of the answers found in the Preparation stage.) Action must not be reaction but planning and adjustment and then more planning and readjustment. Milestones of achievement are helpful. Failure to update and/or revise the plan can inhibit the change you want to make.

* Maintenance (Maintainance) – This is simply doing those things I know to do in order to continue on a positive path and stay on the course set in previous stages. Some become rigid along the way, some fail to revise and fine tune their plan and some stop at maintenance thinking they are over the hump. The result is often failure to maintain positive healthy change.

Recycling – This is not an actual stage of change but is in essence a positive way of understanding relapse. As time goes by and milestones are passed and goals are successfully reached some discover that they are returning to old behavior. Rather than giving up they can now return to the previous stages and use what they have developed, revised and practiced to overcome and recycle back to maintaining their desired change. (In recycling they do not succumb to defeat because of slippage backwards but stop the slide and again move forward.)

* Termination – This is when the cycle of change ends. Some believe Maintenance is all that can be hoped for (e.g. alcoholics), others believe that change can be permanent and so we exit the cycle of change. (My belief is that some change cycles can be exited while others cannot and in those cases the final stage is maintenance.)

Also remember that with solid planning and support you can make meaningful change a part of your personal, professional or business life.

Wanting to change is the first step and knowing you can change (e.g. you can stop smoking: stop overeating; overcome addictions and increase your income) is the next step to overcome fear and enjoy fulfillment, happiness and success.

Seed Newsvine

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<h1>How Change occurs . . . from Fear to Fulfillment, Happiness and Success!</h1><br />by jkhbraveheart<br />Chris Peterson PhD, developer with Marty Seligman PhD of the VIA Signature Strengths (www.authentichappiness.org) asked, “Why do people find it so hard to change?” and answered, “People find it hard to change because change is hard.” That is more profound than it may first appear.<br /> <br />No doubt you have heard, "Practice something you want to change for 21 days and the change will occur." That may work if you want to start putting your wallet in your front pocket instead of your back, but does it work for stopping smoking, overeating, increasing your income or happiness? I believe the answer is, “NO!” I find Jean Piaget’s learning theory helpful. It helps explain why change can be so difficult and often frightening. <br /> <br />My oversimplified use of his learning theory follows: <br /><br /> * Disequilibrium – When we face a new task or a task changes we become disequilibrated. Think of a Jello mold sitting atop a table and the table is bumped and the Jello quivers and with each bump it quivers more. <br /><br /> * Assimilation – One of the reasons we enter disequilibrium is because we have little or no information about the unfamiliar and so we must gain knowledge to reduce “discomfort” in the new situation. The Jello vibrates, as the vibration dissipates the quivering slows and eventually stops. <br /><br /> * Accommodation – After we take in the new information we attempt to make a place for it in our lives/work/beliefs. As we do we become more “comfortable” and move back into equilibrium. The Jello has now dissipated the vibration and the quivering stops. <br /><br /> * Equilibrium – When we have mastered a task we feel comfortable, skilled and generally positive about the task and ourselves. Often mastery increases fulfillment and happiness.<br /> <br />The Jello is now still, but you can be sure someone will bump the table again. <br /> <br />Why is this important? Because, if we understand that change is going to occur again and again we may more easily accept change. Even more importantly we may learn to embrace many more changes than we otherwise would. <br /> <br />Many people fail using the 21 day rule for things more complex than moving their wallet from one place to another. <br /> <br />Remember change is hard but CHANGE IS VERY POSSIBLE! <br /> <br />James Prochaska, John Norcross and Carlo Diclemente researched and analyzed data from interventions to discover why some people make successful changes and many others do not. Their book Changing for Good outlines stages of change. <br /><br /> * Pre-contemplation – This is active resistance to change and is typified by defenses such as denial, minimization, rationalization and more. My belief is that it is very helpful to know this is the first stage of change and is NECESSARY for change to occur. It in essence is saying, “NO CHANGE IS NEEDED,” even though evidence to the contrary is present. NOTE: A caveat is warranted. A man smokes cigarettes and his family shares their concern. The man does not deny that smoking is a danger to his health. He acknowledges his family’s concern but then says, “I hear your concern and I know the consequences but I like to smoke cigarettes and so I plan to continue.” This is not pre-contemplation, this is preference. Whether we agree with his choice or not, does not change the fact that he prefers to smoke. <br /><br /> * Contemplation – Awareness of and attempts to understand the “problem” so that change may take place. However, the attempt to understand along with other obstacles can create a quagmire so that we become stuck thinking about change. Many in this stage are fearful that they don’t have enough information to make the change, thus they end up contemplating a “perfect change” rather than change. Because of this and the effort change requires, many become ambivalent about proceeding to the next phase. Others immediately take action which is almost always a recipe for failure. Why does taking action at this point predict failure? Because even though preparation is the next stage, action occurs because of pressure from themselves or others. <br /><br /> * Preparation – This is simply getting ready. Some questions that are helpful:<br /> <br />What is my first step? <br />What barriers may I expect? <br />What precautions might I take? <br />What will change look like so I recognize it when it occurs?<br />Who do I need to be my support? <br /> <br />Many find this difficult because they want to take action right now. Don’t do it. Prepare adequately and expect surprises. “Life is what happens when we’re busy making plans.” (Attributed to John Lennon.) <br /><br /> * Action – Taking actions consistent with the desired outcome given the knowledge gained in the previous stages. (Sometimes there is a tendency to lose sight of the answers found in the Preparation stage.) Action must not be reaction but planning and adjustment and then more planning and readjustment. Milestones of achievement are helpful. Failure to update and/or revise the plan can inhibit the change you want to make. <br /><br /> * Maintenance (Maintainance) – This is simply doing those things I know to do in order to continue on a positive path and stay on the course set in previous stages. Some become rigid along the way, some fail to revise and fine tune their plan and some stop at maintenance thinking they are over the hump. The result is often failure to maintain positive healthy change.<br /> <br />Recycling – This is not an actual stage of change but is in essence a positive way of understanding relapse. As time goes by and milestones are passed and goals are successfully reached some discover that they are returning to old behavior. Rather than giving up they can now return to the previous stages and use what they have developed, revised and practiced to overcome and recycle back to maintaining their desired change. (In recycling they do not succumb to defeat because of slippage backwards but stop the slide and again move forward.) <br /><br /> * Termination – This is when the cycle of change ends. Some believe Maintenance is all that can be hoped for (e.g. alcoholics), others believe that change can be permanent and so we exit the cycle of change. (My belief is that some change cycles can be exited while others cannot and in those cases the final stage is maintenance.)<br /> <br />Also remember that with solid planning and support you can make meaningful change a part of your personal, professional or business life. <br /> <br />Wanting to change is the first step and knowing you can change (e.g. you can stop smoking: stop overeating; overcome addictions and increase your income) is the next step to overcome fear and enjoy fulfillment, happiness and success.<br /><br /><br /><h2>About the Author</h2><p>Gary Campbell, Life Style Mentor and Successful Entrepreneur, is helping many become the next success story. Whether you're looking to create an extra few thousand dollars per month, be an ex-corporate executive, or the next millionaire Mom, Gary can assist you to create a second stream of income and greater peace of mind. visit : <a target="_new" href="http://netweb-ads.com/garysoc ">Entrepreneur</a></p> <br /><h3><a href="http://www.content4reprint.com/personal-development/how-change-occurs-.-.-.-from-fear-to-fulfillment-happiness-and-success.htm" title="How Change occurs . . . from Fear to Fulfillment, Happiness and Success!">Article Source:</a> <a href="http://www.content4reprint.com" title="Free high quality articles">Content for Reprint</a></h3>