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Making Change: Hard Or Easy?

Tags: changing, making changes, starting over, new life

When I was a child, my father struggled to teach me how to make change for a dollar.
“It costs 27 cents and he gives you a dollar, so you count backwards,” he explained, as patiently as he could, “Twenty-seven cents and a quarter makes 52, and another quarter ….” My eyes glazed over.

But making change inside oneself, or helping others do it within themselves is, to me, the most fascinating of endeavors. And it’s how I spend most of my days as a mind coach and hypnotherapist.

-Patience and Openness-

The important element of change-making is to not be impatient with ourselves, expecting everything to happen at the speed of light. And to avoid assuming that we should feel a particular way, such as: “I’m getting married, so I should be thrilled about leaving my old apartment to live with my great new husband!”

The truth is, you may have had happy times in that place, met new friends in the building, had your first taste of being independent and making your own way in the world. Now you’re leaving the world you’ve come to feel comfortable in. It’s perfectly okay to experience sadness, reluctance, and even grief.

Change doesn’t have to take long—sometimes it happens instantly—but even then, it happens in stages. Getting to know a new place or situation is learning a new skill. In fact, it actually involves many new skills:

In the marriage example, consider just a few:

Learning to “be married” and all that comes with it, including having someone around most of the time, bringing his opinions, tastes, ways of doing things, friends and family to the party. Learning to share the space. Knowing how to negotiate each others’ needs. Figuring out how to get alone-time, friend-time, work-time, family-time with both partners’ families, and intimate-time, and a lot more.

These are only a few typical examples. So many things run deeper, both emotionally and spiritually. And all require learning and assimilation of that learning so you can move from not knowing at all to knowing instinctively.

-How to Understand and Use This-

There is a useful model used in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) that teaches the stages involved in moving from “Not Knowing X At All” to “Knowing X So Instinctively that You Do It Without Having To Think About It.”

You have already moved through this process for many X’s in your life, things that now seem instinctive: brushing your teeth, answering “you’re welcome” to someone’s “thank you,” or petting your dog when he greets you at the door.

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<h1>Making Change: Hard Or Easy?</h1><br />by Wendy N. Lapidus-Saltz<br />When I was a child, my father struggled to teach me how to make change for a dollar.<br />“It costs 27 cents and he gives you a dollar, so you count backwards,” he explained, as patiently as he could, “Twenty-seven cents and a quarter makes 52, and another quarter ….” My eyes glazed over.<br /><br />But making change inside oneself, or helping others do it within themselves is, to me, the most fascinating of endeavors. And it’s how I spend most of my days as a mind coach and hypnotherapist.<br /><br />-Patience and Openness-<br /><br />The important element of change-making is to not be impatient with ourselves, expecting everything to happen at the speed of light. And to avoid assuming that we should feel a particular way, such as: “I’m getting married, so I should be thrilled about leaving my old apartment to live with my great new husband!”<br /><br />The truth is, you may have had happy times in that place, met new friends in the building, had your first taste of being independent and making your own way in the world. Now you’re leaving the world you’ve come to feel comfortable in. It’s perfectly okay to experience sadness, reluctance, and even grief.<br /><br />Change doesn’t have to take long—sometimes it happens instantly—but even then, it happens in stages. Getting to know a new place or situation is learning a new skill. In fact, it actually involves many new skills:<br /><br />In the marriage example, consider just a few:<br /><br />Learning to “be married” and all that comes with it, including having someone around most of the time, bringing his opinions, tastes, ways of doing things, friends and family to the party. Learning to share the space. Knowing how to negotiate each others’ needs. Figuring out how to get alone-time, friend-time, work-time, family-time with both partners’ families, and intimate-time, and a lot more.<br /><br />These are only a few typical examples. So many things run deeper, both emotionally and spiritually. And all require learning and assimilation of that learning so you can move from not knowing at all to knowing instinctively.<br /><br />-How to Understand and Use This-<br /><br />There is a useful model used in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) that teaches the stages involved in moving from “Not Knowing X At All” to “Knowing X So Instinctively that You Do It Without Having To Think About It.”<br /><br />You have already moved through this process for many X’s in your life, things that now seem instinctive: brushing your teeth, answering “you’re welcome” to someone’s “thank you,” or petting your dog when he greets you at the door.<br /><br />TheyвЂ<br /><h2>About the Author</h2><p>Wendy Lapidus-Saltz is a mind coach who uses hypnosis and other techniques to help people break unproductive habits of thought and action, and create productive new ones. Based in Chicago, she specializes in smoking-cessation and issues of love and relationship. For more info on her programs visit <a href="http://www.nonsmoker4life.com" title="http://www.nonsmoker4life.com" target="_blank">http://www.nonsmoker4life.com</a> and <a href="http://www.hypno-attraction.com" title="http://www.hypno-attraction.com" target="_blank">http://www.hypno-attraction.com</a> or call 312-640-1584 for a brief consultation during business hours, Central time.</p> <br /><h3><a href="http://www.content4reprint.com/personal-development/making-change-hard-or-easy.htm" title="Making Change: Hard Or Easy?">Article Source:</a> <a href="http://www.content4reprint.com" title="Free high quality articles">Content for Reprint</a></h3>