Releasing Negativity and Increasing Self Esteem for Teens (and Adults)

Self Esteem is a measurement of the way you feel about yourself. Low self esteem means that you dislike yourself, possibly because of the way you look, the way you act, your environment or because of how you feel. When you have high self esteem, it doesn’t mean that you are stuck up or think that you are better than anyone else. High self esteem really means that you have a good relationship with who you are, and you love and respect yourself, despite your flaws.

Teens naturally go through some very emotional times, partially because their hormones are re-adjusting for adulthood, and partly because they are beginning to experience things from a different perspective. New challenges, new situations and new relationships leave them confused and overwhelmed and can even cause them to withdraw, become fearful and angry. That once carefree and happy child can turn into someone you hardly know.

Adults also can experience moodiness. If we don’t resolve or release emotions successfully when we first experience them, they will take up residence in our minds or bodies and will cause us to feel stressed, anxious and angry, and amplify future emotions and stressful situations.

Part of the problem is that we don’t teach children how to deal with and express emotions. It’s not a class they teach in school, and since many adults have never learned techniques to release emotions constructively, they are simply not in a position to coach their children. This causes strain in relationships and can further affect self esteem – both for the teen and the parents.

Some of the common emotions that teens experience are anxiety, frustration, humiliation, anger and exposure. No matter what has been affecting you or your teen, this simple technique is fast, easy and effective.

First you will want to find a place and time where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes. You’ll want to be able to focus as much as possible, so eliminate as much distraction as you can.

Now, mentally start making a list of the things that have been bothering you. Listen to your inner mind, listen to your heart. It doesn’t matter if you agree with what comes up, just notice any emotions bubbling under the surface. Close your eyes.

For each issue or emotion, imagine that it fills up your body, then imagine blowing all that emotion into a balloon. Breathe the emotion out of your body, out of your mind. You may notice as you blow the emotion into the balloon, that it changes colors. It may turn brown or black with the energy of that negative emotion. When the balloon is full, imagine tying it off, and let it float up into the sky. Continue filling the balloons, tying them off and letting them float up until you feel complete release. Let yourself feel peaceful.

Then, gaze up at the sky – it’s filled with your negativity, filled with those old balloons. Imagine that they merge together to form a big, black cloud, and know that you have projected all your old, negative feelings into that cloud.

Now, if you can, forgive all the people and circumstances that caused you to have all those negative feelings – forgive everyone involved – even if it’s just a little…forgive them. Realize that holding onto anger and resentment only hurts you.

Forgive yourself. Really look at all the times you’ve made mistakes, been bad, been embarrassed or ashamed…and forgive yourself.

Look up at the sky again, and imagine that the sun comes out. Bright and warm and comforting….it comes out and begins to dissolve that cloud of negativity. Let it be dissolved…just let it go. Let it all go and as the cloud of negativity disappears, feel the warmth of the sun trickle through your body, feeling it bathe each cell with peace and comfort, warmth and love. Let yourself feel loved and accepted. Tell yourself that you are ok.

Now, try to find one thing about yourself that you really appreciate. Maybe you have been kind to someone. Maybe you have a certain talent or skill. Maybe you can appreciate yourself for strength, love of animals, love of people, intelligence, sense of humor, goofiness, spirit…just find something. Take a moment just to appreciate that part of you. You are good. Believe that inside. Just believe it, appreciate yourself for it and accept yourself for it.

You can have fun with this technique – make the balloons different colors, imagine blowing them up so much they pop and splat everywhere – it’s ok to use your imagination…

Using this technique consistently will help you balance out your emotions, release the daily negativity that you come into contact with, and improve your self esteem.

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