Personal Development/Stress management

Many of the people I coach tell me that it’s impossible for them to laugh or be happy when they are stressed. The problem for them is that they are right.

You see, quite often it’s the way you look at things that is the problem, not the circumstances you find yourself in. It’s like the saying goes, ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you’re right!’

If happiness is a destination you are waiting to arrive at then you could be in for a long ride. The assumption here for people is that happiness comes from outside of you.

While there are obviously things that happen in your life that make you feel either happy or unhappy, the fact is that these experiences come and they go. The better equipped you become at handling the events that cause you stress the less impact it will have on your health and happiness.

Many years ago I learned the secret of inner happiness. Now it is something that I can call upon twenty four hours a day, seven days a week no matter what events have or will occur. It may not feel real in the beginning but I encourage you to keep going because the more you practise being happy, the easier it will become.

Until you learn how to do this your emotional well-being will be in the hands of the events that happen to you. The more power your events hold over you to control how you think and feel about life, the less room there is for you to be happy and at peace.

What if you were in control of what you thought and felt about the things that happen in your life? Imagine how your life might be if you had the power to choose to feel happy anytime you wanted to?

This is not only possible to achieve it is without a doubt one of the most crucial skills you can ever master for an outstanding quality of life.

Here are 13 Relaxation Techniques for Instant Stress Relief

1. Decide to be Happy.

To get started you must make a decision to make happiness a priority in your life. Just like you would spend at least 20 minutes a day exercising if you wanted to get fit, you need to devote time each day to creating happiness in your life.

2. Value happiness.

Your choices are based on your values. If you regulate happiness to a low priority in life, other choices will take precedence. Where’s happiness located on your list relative to work, taking care of others, spending money?

3. Choose your response.

There is a brief moment between the events that trigger negative thoughts or feelings and your normal reactions to them that you can choose how you want to respond to these events. The secret here is to become aware of that gap and then choose the response that will make sure you are in control of your feelings and actions.

4. Think about happiness.

People who are unhappy dwell on their problems, and find fault with themselves and others. That’s not thinking - that’s wallowing. Thinking involves solving your problems, and determining how to bring out the best in yourself and others. Spend at least 10 minutes a day remembering a time when you were happy and re-live those feelings inside you.

5. Think about what you want.

What do you think will make you happy? Picturing positive outcomes allows your brain to orient itself to mapping out steps to move you in the right direction.

6. Be happy now.

Ask yourself this question, ‘what do I need to do right now to feel happy?’ Perhaps it’s putting on a funny video, or singing your favourite song, or dancing to a fun song, reading a good book or maybe it’s just as simple as changing your attitude. Whatever it is for you put aside time each day to bring more happiness into your life.

7. Practice appreciation.

Take a few moments each day to notice three things which you are grateful for and why. The why will let you get in touch with the feelings you have about these things. The more you practice appreciating what’s good about your life, yourself and other people, the bigger your internal happiness bank account will grow.

8. Practice forgiveness.

Bad things happen to good people. Good people make bad mistakes. There’s nothing you can do about it other than forgive and move on to making yourself happy again. When you hold onto bad feelings from the past, you prolong your suffering. Don’t give unhappy thoughts a home. Let negatives drift away.

9. Create positives to balance-out the negatives.

You need to generate a minimum of five positive moments to offset the negative emotions that are automatically aroused by a bad situation. Keep a list of what makes you happy, and generate at least five of those experiences to eliminate the negative.

10. Do it anyway.

If you don’t take action to make your life better because you don’t feel like it, you’re enslaving yourself to your bad feelings. It’s especially important to do something to feel good when you’re feeling bad. Being proactive rather than reactive will stop your body from bombarding you with stress-related chemicals and allow it to do it’s natural job of maintaining good balance.

11. Practice being happy.

Happiness is like a muscle - it gets stronger the more you exercise it. Keeping yourself happy is like staying in shape. You’ll become better at it the more you do it. It will become easier to do. And eventually it will become a habit that you’ll really miss when you don’t do it.

12. Promote happiness.

Doing good things for others will keep your relationships working well because what goes around comes around. Knowing that you’re a person who makes other people feel good also will give you a deep sense of satisfaction about who you are as a person.

13. Lift your spirit.

You can face any challenge in life if you have faith in yourself and in a higher power. To renew your energy, you need to make time to replenish your spirit through whatever acts or rituals that make your heart sing!

While there’s a lot you can do to be happier on the inside understand that your mind has two stories to tell. One will always be positive and optimistic while the other will always be judgmental, pessimistic and negative in nature.

Just by knowing this you can stop fighting with yourself. Happiness is your natural state of being when your mind is not conflicted. Learn to observe your mind more than get caught up in it’s obsessive nature and you’ll have a life filled with such deep calm and peacefulness you will wonder how you ever got by with out it.

To Your Greatt Life and Health...

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