The Biggest Barrier to Personal Success - How Being Addicted To What People Think Of You Is Keeping You Trapped.

For the majority of adults, their thoughts and therefore actions are directly tied to what they perceive others will think of them, thus actively creating their biggest barrier to personal success. For the most part, we do or do not do something because of what someone else will think of us.

This factor is the single, greatest, personal success barrier that keeps most people stuck and not moving towards their dreams and ultimate wellbeing. From a personal stand point, this life lesson has been an immense blessing and yet one that I continue to work through. I can now admit, I was, and still am on occasion addicted to having others think well of me.

This particular (frequently subconscious) addiction has cost me in many ways: inappropriate financial decisions, compromised needs in a career situation, less satisfaction in relationships, not giving to myself for many years, frequently not saying what needed to be said and then feeling resentful.

Assuming that you abide by the law and don't intentionally hurt someone or something else, what others think of you is none of your business and totally irrelevant. This is not easy to accept.

If you think I am exaggerating, how many of you believe or feel (consciously, or maybe even subconsciously) that your self worth is tied to your spouse, to your job, to your title, or to your possessions?

No matter how you grew up, you were more than likely taught at a very young age to take what was said and done in a very personal way. What we are and what we believe in, such as the language we speak, the religion we practice, the value we place on education, and so on was handed to us by others. We were encouraged to learn what was deemed to be 'right' or 'wrong'. If we did what others wanted we were liked and approved of. If we did something that was not desired, we were perhaps punished, made to feel ashamed, to feel guilty or blamed. Therefore, from an early age we were conditioned to do things for approval and we were rewarded for doing so. It is not surprising that as adults, we take things personally, and are concerned with what others think of us. More than likely this concern is a barrier to your personal success.

It is important to remember that others see you through their own truths and their own fog. Knowing this makes it easier to stop being worried with what they think.

One of my mentors put a mirror to me so that I could understand some of this erroneous thinking and way of being. She taught me that, Everyone, that means you and me included, are perfect, blessed, full of grace, worthy, deserving, and wonderful right NOW, just as we are. There is NO NEED for acceptance, judgment or criticism from someone else. What actually keeps the fear of being judged by others in place is the self-imposed RIGHT to judge and criticize others.

The thought and said ideas of us being afraid of being judged is just a "front" (for the ego) for the real issue. The real issue is we MUST GIVE UP the self anointed right to JUDGE OTHERS. This is much more difficult to do as it pops up in unexpected places and unexpected times.

Be honest, how many times do you catch yourself passing a negative comment on someone's dress code, their speech, their attitude, their work ethic, their life results, and so on? People want to remain in this self-crowned position of being judge, jury and executioner of other people and in so doing, call the same "stuff" back to them. Once again this is the law of attraction in action. We can speed the letting go of this barrier to personal success once the recognition of what we are actually doing comes into our consciousness. We give up judging others and we get the freedom we all deserve.

The bottom line, it is your life and it is your dream that counts for you; not someone else's definition of what constitutes a worthwhile pursuit. Your dream and your aspirations are yours for your enjoyment. However, if you want to make money with your dream then it will have to add value to others. Know, that you will never be happy following another's plan for your life.

You can reach great heights. You just need to immunize yourself against the biggest barrier to personal success - what others think of you!

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