Transform Your Life: Where Are You Hanging Out?

I worked with a client along time ago when I was a counselor who loved to hang out in whatever drama she could create. Sometimes it was drama about her mom, sometimes her house, sometimes it was her "illness", and sometimes it was just the fact that her cable guy was late. No matter what was going on, she chose to hang in what I call "the muck of life".

Some people become masters of this space. In fact, they will go to great lengths to maintain muck because this is what they know how to do. The mind, the ego actually loves this space. It loves having a problem to solve or an issue to work out. It's the "why me", "this isn't it", "if only", "but", "this is horrible" and "this is just the way I am" voice in the head.

Psychologically there are a million explanations for why we do this and why some people do it more than others (family of origin, significant life events, self-worth, etc.) but none of them really matter because explanations aren't solutions.

It really comes down to percentages and I'll take the current economic situation as an example. The economy and even more so the negative energy about the economy seems to have so many people focused on the muck of life.

They are worried, anxious, fearful, on edge, and they are carrying their beliefs about their bank account and stock portfolios into every area of their life. It is impacting their relationships, their self-esteem, their sex lives, their work and how they interact in the world.

Don't get me wrong, we've certainly had better times (and we certainly will again) and there are some people who have immediate concerns and changes to deal with but there are many people who are making conscious choices to hang out in the 5-10% percent that is "bad".

How does this help? Well aside from giving your mind a problem to work on, it doesn't. And why, when you have so many other things to be grateful for in your life, would you choose to hang out in this space. You have the other 95% of you who wants you to pull up a chair and stay a while.

So, what do you do when you find yourself hanging out in that 5-10% that is not going the way you would like whether it involves your work, your family, your relationships, your money, or your health?

The best remedy I know of is spending time in the space of gratitude. When my mind starts sitting down to a pity party, as soon as I am aware of it, which generally depends on how committed I am to having the pity party, I remind myself that not only do I have the time to have the party but I also have the awareness about it which means I already have something pretty good going for me.

It doesn't take long then before I realize that my breath is coming from a strong and healthy body that has food in it's stomach. I am sitting in a heated and furnished home in my favorite chair. I hear my 2 year old playing with her blocks in the next room. There's coffee in the pot and a message from my friend on my machine. You get the point.

So, the next time you find yourself hanging out in the less than happy percentage, remember that your current moment of now is wonderful and great and worthy of celebration. Abundance surrounds you and you are one of the luckiest people on the planet. There is perfection in imperfection and as long as you are alive and breathing in and out in this moment, you are fine.

Why not use your energy to hang out here for a while instead?

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