Advice For Finding Lost Feelings of Love: 5 Tips

Even after the love that your relationship once knew has faded, there always remains hope that it can be rekindled. In the present moment, the lost feelings of love may be all that are left: faint reminders of the burning passion and joy that once existed between the two of you. Those feelings still exist somewhere deep inside you, but you may also find that they seem to have a real, material existence “out there” somewhere. And, you may suspect that your lover (or ex) shares your hidden hope that the love you once shared can be revived.

If you feel the need to rekindle your lost feelings of love, try these 5 tips for finding and nurturing those feelings again:

Tip #1: Ask yourself whether there are any insurmountable barriers to your love:

If there is to be any hope that you can breathe life back into your love, you must first be totally honest with yourself. Namely, is there anything that is permanently standing between you and a revived relationship with him or her? For example, if you feel you can never trust or respect your partner or ex-partner again because of something they did, your love may not be salvageable. Trust and respect are two cornerstones in the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Tip #2: Make sure you still find him or her physically attractive:

Do you - or could you - still find your lover physically attractive? Let’s face it: most of us will agree that there is more to personal attraction than just good looks, and most successful relationships require a strong physical attraction between the partners. You may feel like your partner has not been taking care of himself or herself in terms of their body weight, skin, hair or clothing. But, before you get too critical of them, make sure that you take a good look at yourself, as well. Often, couples tend to follow each others’ cues in terms of how much attention they put into their own appearance. Making yourself look and feel your best may influence your partner to do the same.

Tip #3: Think of the things that bother you most about the person (and then forget them!):

Think back to the time the two of you started dating: you probably saw your lover as pretty much flawless, and you treated them as such. They could do no wrong, or so it seemed. Then, over time, little imperfections that you never noticed probably started to pop up, right? More recently, as the feelings of love between you started to fade, it is likely those imperfections started to stick out like a sore thumb and you couldn’t help but notice them. What to do about these bothersome traits? Unless those traits cause you to actually respect or trust the person less (see Tip #1), you just need to do one thing: forget those traits and move on.

Tip #4: Focus on what you can create together for the future:

As corny as it sounds, and I am sure you have heard every motivational speaker and inspirational talk show guest say the following already, but here goes: the past does not equal the future. The future is unwritten. The future is yours to create. (Okay, you get it!). One of the traps that couples who are trying to make a go of it again fall into is that they immediately dive into their trying to fix their old problems. Hint: instead, put your energy into focusing on what the two of your can control: your future.

Tip #5: Start by telling him or her something that you appreciate about them:

We all like to hear good things about ourselves from those we care about. Are we smart? Do we have great hair? Pretty eyes? Are we accomplished in the career world? Do we have a special skill? We love to hear about those things that make us special. If you truly intend to make it work with your lover or your ex, take the time to regularly remind him or her of all of those things about them that fill you with admiration, awe, or that warm, tingly feeling that comes with physical attraction.

Finding your lost feelings of love for your current or ex boyfriend, girlfriend, fling, or spouse does not need to be a challenge. Follow these tips and make the journey back to love one filled with warmth, promise, and a focus on better things to come.

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