Alone Vs Lonely

I like being alone -- I like spending quality time with myself reading a good book, watching a chick flick, paraffin waxing my hands -- doing whatever I feel like doing. I enjoy my own company and I find myself easy to get along with. I look forward to sitting on my chaise, sipping a glass of wine and becoming engrossed in the latest best selling novel.

What I don't like is feeling lonely, feeling bored with my own company and yearning for the company of others. That's something that many people experience when they become uncoupled for whatever reason, because they no longer have a familiar person around to fill that space. It doesn't matter whether or not the relationship was a good one -- sometimes people believe that bad company is better than no company. Or maybe you have never been involved in a romantic relationship and you yearn for that connection, that companionship.

Some people don't relish the idea of spending time alone, even for short periods of time. Even people who are currently satisfied with their friendships and/or romantic relationships are sometimes apprehensive about spending time alone.

Sometimes people make relationship decisions based on their loneliness and this often leads to disaster. It is always better to approach relationships from a position of personal strength and confidence. It is only when you are able to love yourself, to be comfortable with yourself that you can give yourself fully to others. Only then can you engage in fulfilling and healthy relationships.

When it comes to relationships, romantic or otherwise, don't settle. It is important to honor yourself by choosing to engage in partnerships that enhance your life. They don't have to last forever in order for you to derive pleasure from them. Remember that people are in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime.

Here are some reasons why you must give yourself permission to choose your relationships wisely:

Time is a precious commodity. Don't waste it trying to cultivate unfulfilling relationships

Save your energy for people who are worth it. Why squander it on someone who doesn't enhance your life?

When it isn't right for you, it's time to let it go. Don't drain yourself on people who are not available to you.

Wasting time with the wrong people leaves you less opportunity to meet the right people.

Listen to those red flags -- if something doesn't sit well with you, move along. Don't keep dumping your energy into a dead end.

People are always on their very best behavior in the early stage of the relationship. If you aren't impressed by their best behavior, imagine how it will be once they've let their guard down.

Little habits that are mildly irritating in the beginning become hugely annoying once the glow wears off. No one is perfect, but some behaviors are just deal breakers.

Being in a relationship takes work, time and energy. Unless you are willing to devote all three to your social development, don't get involved. In friendship and romance, always remember the golden rule. It's a big world out there with lots of really great people who can't wait to get to know you. Send those good vibes out into the universe....and smile.

Have friends or a "mate", but still don't like being alone? Are you wasting away those precious hours doing things that don't give you enjoyment? Answering these questions might be the first step in helping you find ways to become comfortable with being alone.

1. When I'm alone I feel __________________________________________.

2. I wish I could ______________________________________________ when I'm alone.

3. I'd love to learn to (knit, fly, scuba dive, write a novel) _________________ ___________________________.

4. I never finished _______________________________________________.

Now, look at your answers. Decide on one thing that you will do to bring you comfort. Start reading and researching how you can get started on this wonderful new activity.

If you're stuck and can't seem to find what will make you fulfilled, you're not alone. Your New World Coaching has specialized in helping people find out what makes them happy and helps them take the steps toward achieving that happiness.

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