Breaking The Ice With Women Without Fear

Breaking the ice doesn't have to be a boot rattling, sweat inducing experience. In fact, your chances of successfully breaking the ice are better when fear is not a factor. We convince ourselves that there is much to be nervous about, much to fear, when a women who exudes what attracts us enters our presence. It's not like that. And it doesn't have to be like that for you anymore, either.

Breaking the ice is not only simpler, but better received when you keep your ice breaking comment short, sweet, and not so obviously hopeful. When you approach a woman with every intention of breaking the ice, and she sees you coming a mile away, you shoot your mouth off and the stand there hoping she responds well to you, she's lost interest. If you give her enough to know you are interested but remove the awkward, gaping moment that follows, you also remove the pressure of walking away with your dignity if she shoots you down.

Short statements of clear and honest sincerity that are relevant to the situation are more likely to bring you success. Relax, because there isn't anything to be afraid of. She isn't Godzilla on the warpath, she's just a woman. She isn't seeking out the most intelligent comment from you. In fact, she probably hardly noticed you at all. That's the perfect time to grab her attention with a sweet and short introductory comment and then go on about your business. That leaves everything from a response to a rude or hurtful judgment all on her shoulders. If she isn't interested, then you simply paid her a compliment which can brighten any woman's day. If she is, you aren't hanging there like a hopeful puppy.

Women often respond to attitude as much as they respond to the words that come out of your mouth. If you simply put your thought out there, and return your attention to what you were previously engaged in, then your attitude is rather cool, collected, and attractive. If you hang there with your puppy face hoping not to be shot down, your attitude is rather pathetic, lonely, and scared. It is okay to toss a woman a bone from time to time and see what she does with it. Alleviating yourself of the responsibility of creating the total and complete image of man who gets woman is liberating enough to rid us of most of our fears.

Women are interesting creatures. No two women will ever react exactly the same to the same comment. A simple, "How awesome is it that you showed up with your beautiful eyes?" can be taken by one women as a sweet and innocent comment that breaks the ice while another woman looks at you like you're already undressing her with your eyes and she has the right to be offended. Some women don't respond well to complimentary comments because they honestly don't feel good enough about themselves to accept a compliment, especially from a stranger. Other women see men as reckless fiends with nothing more than sex on their minds. Of course, the experience of hitting on a lesbian is one that a man isn't soon to forget. The point is, that you can express an interest, but you never know what her perception, issues, or life situation may be. Thus, you don't have to responsible for a poor reaction or a misunderstanding. All you've done is given a woman a compliment and returned, with a big grin, to your previous engaging activity.

We can also remove fear by knowing that we don't know who we are breaking the ice with. Obviously, if we are trying to break the ice with a woman who is happily married, gay, or otherwise involved, we aren't likely to get a full blown explanation. We tend to think it's about us when in reality it probably isn't. If we get shot down, we still know that somewhere inside we made a beautiful woman's day better. We know that on some level, when she returns to her situation that we don't know about, she might be just a little bit happier or feel a little sexier. It wasn't about us.

If we break the ice without fear and hand a woman a sincere compliment and return to our business at hand, she also has the opportunity to explore our interest further. She may very well keep talking, returning with her own quick witted comment or her own interesting observation. Once we have established a dialog, we can determine whether she is available and interested. From there, we have the wind at our back, the hard part is over, and we did it all without being afraid of the outcome.

When handing a woman a genuine compliment, avoid too much sexual suggestion or focusing on her incredible set of breasts or the ass that conjures up images inappropriate for discussion here. Those comments tend to lead a woman to believe that you have only one agenda, and women find that offensive. Even if you only have one agenda, offending a woman isn't going to win her over. A little charm and grace is going to take you much farther than telling her what a great set she has and what you would like to do to them.

Women are not so scary once you realize that their internal workings are constantly ticking away just like ours. We are just cut from two different cloths. Men and women alike want to be valued, want to be attractive, and want to be noticed. The only variable is really how much of each they are comfortable with.

The next time you think you are ready to break the ice, make sure you smile through your entire transaction. Give it a genuine smile, as women know a fake or forced smile like they know when we are hanging on their every word. Just smile, relax, be yourself, and give it a go. Remember that you only have control over you and from there, it is smooth sailing.

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Comments

Wed, 9 Jul 2008 at 9:39 PM, by tremdon
Great article! The trick to breaking the ice - and all good communication in relationships - is to have the frame of mind of "what can I give?" rather than "will she give it to me?" Even just a smile - it's free and it cheers people up!
Trevor E. www.trust-in-relationships.com

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