Dating Advice for Singles to Find Your Ideal Partner

If you want to be successful in finding the right partner and what you're doing to find a relationship isn't working, then do something different!

As the saying goes, for things to change, you've got to change.

Easier said than done, perhaps, but some of us are creatures of habit. We dress the way we do, wear our hair in the style we do, go to places where we feel at ease and do the activities we like to do because that's the familiar and comfortable way.

Here are some simple ways to change how you're going about things both 'externally' (actions you're taking or how you're behaving) and 'internally' (your attitudes and approaches).

EXTERNAL CHANGES

When it comes to other external changes - ring them!

Try doing one or two things differently - change your hairstyle or colour, go shopping with a friend whose dress sense is different from yours and get their advice, take a small risk and wear something different but appropriate.

Go to a singles' event or venue you might not normally try. If you've never been to one on your own, try going on your own. Being there without a friend will force you to wander around and chat to people rather than stick with your mate.

Whenever you're around single people, instead of focussing on whether you'll meet someone you fancy, set yourself a few tasks to change that focus.

For example, set yourself the goal of speaking to three men and three women; standing on your own for ten minutes to see what happens; approaching 1 person you fancy and one person you wouldn't have considered speaking to.

Observe what happens. You might surprise yourself as to how the focus moves from how you're feeling inside to what's happening on the outside!

Other external changes could be to alter your profile on an internet dating site, join a dating agency or different dating site, answer a few ads that you might not have previously - just to get practise in doing things differently.

In other words, step out of your comfort zone little by little and simply enjoy the fun of it instead of hoping for what might be. Stay 'in the moment' and enjoy that. Do it as a fun experiment rather than with the attitude or expectation that "This is going to change my life".

Which brings this to making 'Internal' changes.

The internal aspects are our thoughts, our attitudes and our approaches.

It is said that negative thought causes negative feelings, so keep a check on yourself when you're feeling down - what are you thinking? If you're thinking "I'm not attractive enough" you might need to change your attitude and accept that you are not Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, and that the person who falls for you will like your looks. More importantly, they will like your inner qualities, too.

Being positive about yourself is an important first step. Start recognising your strengths and inner qualities and acknowledging them instead of taking them for granted or dismissing them. If you don't know what they are, start making a list now!

Self-improvement comes from within, with your willingness to make some change on the 'outside' or on the 'inside'.

Remind yourself of the saying about 'Change': "Be willing to change the things you can change, accept the things you can't change and have the wisdom to know the difference".

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