Word Count: 888 Date: Fri, 9 Jan 2009 10:06 AM
Decide If You Want to Learn How To Be A Player
In dating, there are two dominant types of men, regular guys like you and me and the player. The regular guy can be successful at meeting and dating a variety of women, but many regular guys also fall into the category of nice guys, shy guys, mamas' boys and desperate guys. These guys find that their dating pool is really limited, only allowing them a few chances to meet and interact with beautiful women.
Guys who want to learn how to be a player can open up doors that were closed before. Allowing them to date women without getting their feelings hurt or getting in too deep. So guys you really have three options, you can become a player, stick with what you already know or my favorite option pick up a tip or two from the way players operate and ignore the rest.
Date multiple women
There is nothing wrong with being honest and being true to yourself when dating women. However, if you choose to become a player you may find yourself getting addicted to the freedom of dating several women at once. In fact, the player only has one goal with women, to have sex with as many women as possible. Some players even keep scorecards tracking race, and other factors about the women they sleep with.
This may work for the player but for regular guys trying to manage several girls at once can be confusing and stops you from getting what you really want from women. Know your goals to decide if you want to learn how to be a player. Guys who are trying to find their soul mate or want to get their best friend to see them as something more may not be as well suited for the player lifestyle. However, guys who are looking to keep things casual and just want hookups and no strings attached meetings with women for the next few years are ideal for the player lifestyle.
Know how women see you
When guys meet a beautiful women, are actually are able to talk to her and have a good time they might automatically assume the feeling was mutual. Sometimes however, the date that you enjoyed so much might have been a complete bore to her. If a woman does not return your phone calls after a first date then you can use this as a lesson to make sure that the next time you speak to women your conversation is engaging, fun and keeps her interested. To do so you might need to learn how to be a player.
I used to hang out with one female friend of mine all the time since their was no sexual attraction between us. We could sit for hours, talking, laughing and just having fun in each other's presence. At one point in time, we both happened to be single at the same time, so we agreed to set each other up on blind dates, for the following weekend. When I meet the girl she had picked for me, I was impressed! She was stunningly beautiful and when we met at the restaurant, I made sure to make eye contact as we talked, to flirt a little, lean into her and use a little casual touching to stir up the attraction.
Everything seemed to be going fine as we talked at the restaurant, though I wasn't that confident I also wasn't that insecure. Just an average guy with no knowledge of how to be a player. I did most of the talking just telling her about my day, discussing my job and sharing information. I thought I caught my friend trying to give me some signals with her eyes a time or two but I just dismissed her looks as her way of encouraging me. Boy was I wrong!
The next day when I went to visit my female friend I asked her how she thought I had done on the date, she chewed me out and told me I had dominated the conversation but not in a good way. Though I had kept the conversation moving throughout the night, It was not just all about me it was boring mundane topics. Instead of discussing my passions and beliefs, I choose to avoid any topics that would give her a bad impression of me and I was so nervous I rambled, mumbled and spent most of the night talking about the weather, stock reports and the traffic!
The way I acted on the blind date was a complete departure from the shared mutual conversations I often shared with my friend, conversations where we were both equal participants, kept each other laughing, and entertained. Somehow, on my date I let nerves take affect, causing me to act unnatural and bore my date to the point she almost feel asleep.
Thanks to the persuasion of my friend, she actually gave me a second chance. This time I made sure to be direct, passionate, avoided boring subjects and told lots of jokes. Though I did not invest the time and money needed to learn how to be a player I did learn what techniques worked for me.
About the Author
Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: How to be a Player, Wanna Be a Player, Web Sites For Men
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