Finding Perfection in Love

The question of what defines the perfect relationship need not be that complicated. This type of relationship is defined, simply, as one in which two people who want the same things from the relationship are paired with each other.

That doesn't mean that what defines a perfect relationship is that both love to play baseball, and drink margaritas. Nor does it mean that both love mystery novels and horror movies. What it does mean is that both enter the relationship for the same level of commitment and agreeing on the major issues.

A woman who wants to get married and have three kids is not going to have the perfect relationship with someone who thinks the most commitment he'll ever make is moving in together. Nor is this type of relationship one in which they both want marriage but only one of them wants to have children.

The perfect relationship is possible, though perfection is seldom achieved. Having something close to perfection in a relationship, or at least the absence of disaster, takes a lot of introspection and quite a bit of effort. Before you really start looking for that perfect relationship you must know what defines a perfect relationship for you. Not doing so and entering the dating arena would be tantamount to entering a contest without knowing what determines the winner.

When it comes time for you to think about what defines the perfect relationship question you need to think about several things.

You need to think, first of all, if marriage defines your perfect relationship. Have you thought for years about your beautiful wedding day? Have you fantasized about the white picket fence and the two children you and your spouse will have and raise? Or might you be perfectly happy, or even prefer, a live-in arrangement with maybe only a mortgage or business commitment together?

When you think about your perfect relationship do you see it defined as one in which the two of you grow old and grey together? Or might you be monogamous with one partner for a few years and then perhaps go on to another and go it alone for awhile?

How do you feel about children? Are they part of what defines your relationship? Might you tolerate a blended family in which you would be raising someone else's children, the children of your new partner by a prior relationship? Or do you run kicking and screaming the other way when a potential mate mentions children? Is being your best friend part of what defines your perfect relationship? Or, do you prefer something more casual, with the title best friend kept for your drinking buddy?

Just how independent you are also is a large part of deciding what defines your perfect relationship. Are you looking for a partner who will be by your side for every special occasion, meal and recreation, or do you need a few nights with friends, or by yourself?

The answer, then, to what defines the perfect relationship, lies within you. After all, it's your relationship!

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