Life Plan For Love: The Art of Flirting!

The art of flirting is the art of making someone else feel attractive - in a tasteful, understated way. Don't be too obvious. Don't be too subtle. See! It's simple.

Okay, let's break it down a little more. What exactly are the elements of the art of flirting?

#1: Eye contact.
Your first contact with someone attractive will probably be a glance, so eye contact is extremely important. You can convey interest, confidence, and non-sleaziness all in a glance. When you're letting someone know you like them, look into their eyes just a fraction longer than you normally would - then look away. Don't overwhelm the moment with emotional weight. But keep looking. Look back; look again; be caught gazing when they've looked away. Show interest, but don't ogle.

There are some gender differences here.
Women: you can be pretty obvious.
Men: by "gazing," I mean gazing at a woman's face. If she catches you looking southward - particularly while she's talking to you - you may be done.

#2: Smile.
That's it. Smile a lot. Everyone likes smiling.

#3: Touch.
Careful! Establish interest before you move into this step.

Men, especially, need to be careful. If you're subtle, touching can be extremely effective. Men, brush hands. Touch her shoulder or her back when you get her a drink. Stand a touch closer than you normally would - but just a touch. Don't back her into a wall.

Women, you can be more obvious. You can touch his shoulder, his arm, or his hands. Quietly touch your own face, your neck, and your legs. Subtly indicate your sexual interest is being aroused.

#4: Move your body.
You want to position your body so you communicate attraction. Lean forward when you're talking. Turn your body toward your interest. Mirror body posture.

#5: Talk.
You do not need an opening line. In fact, a bland, general comment can work better. You can show interest in a non-threatening, non-committal way. From there you can build on a mutual topic of interest. Be sure to listen as much as you talk. Show a great deal of attention to what your interest has to say.

#6: Laugh.
Timing is important, of course, but in general laughter is attractive.

#7: Be funny.
Actually, being funny is not really necessary to flirting. You can be charming - as in, charm someone into feeling charming - without being witty, original, smart, or comedic. But yes, like wild good looks, being funny helps. Of course, you have to be funny to the person you're talking to. Don't use a joke involving a dead animal if you're talking to a member of the Humane Society.

#8: Compliment, compliment.
Again, tastefulness! "You have an excellent hiney" is not a great opener. It should not even be used thirty minutes into a conversation. It's good if you can come up with something at least somewhat original. Complimenting eyes and smiles are safe choices, and they'll generally be welcome, but try to branch out in complimenting someone's clothes, ideas, or accomplishments. Don't go overboard.

#9: Be nice.
Be positive when you talk, be friendly, and be courteous.

#10: Practice.
Flirting is like a muscle. Use it or lose it.

Social scientists will tell you a woman crosses her legs when she's sexually interested, and that men stand taller and lower their voices. Maybe that's true, but it's also true that flirting is not a science. Be sensitive to your interest's signals. They may not align with your flirtation manual. Be flexible and change course as needed.

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