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Author: Eve Eschner Hogan | Total views: 32 Comments: 0
Word Count: 716 Date: Sun, 15 Mar 2009 9:17 PM

Spring Cleaning for Your Love Life

We are all familiar with the concept of "spring cleaning" as a time for going through our physical belongings and removing the clothes that no longer fit, letting go of things we no longer need and organizing that which we want to keep. But have you ever considered the onset of Spring to be the perfect opportunity to let go of behaviors that no longer fit, clean up loose ends in old relationships, forgiving those who have hurt us and apologizing to the those who we may have harmed? In other words, Spring is the perfect time for growth, yet growth can be stunted by the "weeds" that may have found their way into our hearts.

I invite you to take a look at your life. How is it working? How is the health of your relationships? What about your relationship with your body? With God? With Money? And what about your relationship with your living space? Your garden? Your workspace?

So often we think of our relationships as solely our romance ties, but we are in relationship with everything and everyone in our lives. Spring Cleaning on the emotional level involves a lot of self-inquiry, so I ask you again, how is it working? Have you allowed jealousy to take root? What about possessiveness? Are you judging others? Are you doubting yourself? Do these thought patterns still "fit" you? Do they serve your well-being? Do they serve your relationships?

Is there anything that you can do to clean up a relationship from the past so that your energy is free to move on? Is it as simple as a phone call, an apology, returning something, paying off a debt, forgiving a debt, completing an unfinished or promised task? Is there anything you can do differently that would nudge your current relationship into a healthier state like telling the truth, giving in a little, holding your ground, knowing your boundaries, having compassion? What would set you free?

When we find that a lot of our energy is being spent on matters of the ego, we are caught in the turmoil of suffering. Ego makes us feel like a victim. Ego believes that someone wronged us or that someone else should make things right for us. Ego believes that the other person should do the work, change and "get it."
Spirit knows that the world won't look any different until we choose to see it differently. Spirit knows that if we don't like what we are experiencing we need to choose to do something differently.

Ego makes up stories to fill in the blanks of what we don't know, stories that never ever serve us. Spirit realizes that we truly know very little and the more we stop pretending to know, the more peaceful we are.

Ego thinks everything is so very important. Spirit knows how very little is truly important, and exactly what that is.

Ego thinks that other people owe us something. Spirit knows that we are here to serve.

Notice when you are unhappy or angry or frustrated, whether it is your spirit that is upset or your ego-self. My guess is that you will find that your spirit is never really upset. Your spirit knows the bigger picture.

When you tackle "inner spring cleaning," I invite you to simply notice when your mood is coming from your ego and see if you can make the subtle shift into the spirit. Look at where your mental energy goes and see if you can simply reframe your thinking to set yourself free. Choose to run a different story, think a different thought, or ask your mind to be quiet for a moment. See if you can shift from pain to freedom, from suffering to peace.

Look at your relationships and see what you can do differently, without expecting anyone else to change, to make the relationship happier, healthier, and stronger, or to free yourself from the ones that no longer serve you.

Intellectual Foreplay Question: What in your life no longer fits?

Love Tip: Spring is a great invitation to grow, to bloom, to shine and to shift.

About the Author

Eve Eschner Hogan is a speaker, relationship expert, maui wedding officiant on Maui and author of "Intellectual Foreplay," "Virtual Foreplay," "How to Love Your Marriage," and "Way of the Winding Path." Find out how she can offer you relationship advice for the workplace, the home and the heart.




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