The Signs of a Marriage Falling Apart

One wonders what is different now as compared to previous generations, which has led to marriages falling apart.

Warning Signs

Except in the rare instance when one partner changes drastically overnight, there are always warning signs that a marriage is veering off track. A sense of dissatisfaction creeps in and communication becomes guarded and rare. A couple who have been sweeping problems under the carpet suddenly find themselves in a situation that they are unhappy in. Rather than address issues, couples begin behaving in an escapist manner.

Perhaps a clear warning that all is not well in a marriage, is when a couple seem to have less and less to talk about. They begin avoiding being alone with each other and when communication does happen, it inevitably leads to arguments.

The little gestures that made a relationship special suddenly seem to stop and partners suddenly seem uncaring. There is also constant criticism of one other. Couples having problems do not seem to want to understand the other’s point of view.

In extreme cases, destructive patterns creep into a bad relationship. A man may start coming home drunk and become abusive. A woman may start neglecting herself and turn to food for comfort.

Lack of Intimacy

The lack of intimacy definitely defines a marriage that is in trouble. A couple who are having problems usually do not feel attracted to each other. The same chemistry that drew them to each other is replaced by animosity. This constant tension doesn’t help them have a normal intimate relationship and sometimes leads to them sleeping in separate rooms.

The lack of intimate contact and the breaking down of communication creates a wall between a couple and increases the cracks in the marriage. When two people in a marriage are hurting, the lack of intimacy adds to the feeling of disenchantment.

Anti-Social Behaviour

There are various reasons that a marriage can fall apart and the period just before a couple decide to end things can be quite traumatic. Since they are confused and unable to keep bitterness at bay, it becomes very difficult for them to keep up appearances. To avoid awkward questions and awkward moments, couples having problems may begin to avoid social gatherings.
Since there is no love lost during the difficult time, they seldom make the effort to go out to dinner etc. Being together becomes an effort and they do not enjoy any combined activity.

Separate Lives

Very often, trouble in a marriage happens over a period of time. Soon, the lack of intimacy and minimal communication drives a couple to lead separate lives. The increasing distance between them prevents them from confiding in each other and they begin having secrets from each other. When a marriage begins falling apart a couple don’t feel united anymore and each one feels the other person is against them.

Interests that they shared suddenly become a chore. From confidants they turn strangers and the break down in the marriage alienates them from each other. It is sad but true that shared moments and happy memories are almost forgotten when a couple start drifting apart. It is difficult to point out if the problems cause a couple to drift apart or whether drifting apart causes the problems.

The Lull before the Storm

Sometimes, couples refuse to acknowledge that they are facing problems and prefer to run away from the truth. Constantly avoiding issues creates a bigger problem and increases the tension between the couple. When matters reach a point when they cannot be ignored anymore, the storm erupts and a situation that threatens to end in divorce is created.

Conclusion

To actually analyse marital problems and understand the dynamics involved is not easy. When the cracks begin to be noticed, it requires a lot of effort on the part of both people in a relationship. To prevent the crack from becoming a full blown divide a couple should dig their heels in and face the issues head on. It is a difficult time and to find the extra strength to resolve the problems though challenging can help the marriage get back on track.

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