Winning Child Custody Battles

Sometimes the phrase "child custody battle" is very appropriate. A divorced parent can feel like he/she is actually fighting a war with a former spouse about their custody agreement. The process can be tiring, stressful, long, and complicated. And, if the parents have strong disagreements, it can be very tiring, very stressful, very long and very complicated. However, no matter how difficult your situation, there are some things you can do to bring peace to and win your child custody battle. Here are three suggestions.

1. Only worry about what you can control. This can be very difficult advice to follow--but it is essential if you want to survive your custody battle. However much you want to change your ex's actions...you can't. There's no way around that. The only thing you can control are your own actions. So, focus on those. Don't think about or worry about what your ex is doing. Work on coming up with the child custody agreement that you want the court or your ex to accept.

When your ex purposefully does things to annoy you--ignore them and don't react. If your ex is doing things like dropping off or picking up the children late, don't make a big scene, rather calmly tell you ex that you are keeping records of all of this to show to the judge--and then do just that. And, when you're with your children don't waste time trying to get information about your ex. Focus on spending quality time with your kids and enjoying them.

2. Be prepared. Along with that center of calm that you've created, you also want to bring a stellar custody agreement into court. Spend some time coming up with various custody arrangements. Be flexible about times when your ex can see the kids--this is impressive to the judge and the court because you are fair and level-headed and obviously acting in the best interest of the child.

You want to think about and include any provisions that you want included in the agreement. Provisions are some rules that you want your ex to abide by--like not getting your child a passport without your knowledge, etc. This type of preparation is important for your agreement and is also important for winning in court. If you have documents and plans that you present to the judge, your opinion will be listened to and most likely accepted.

3. Remember the purpose. It is easy to get caught up in the battle part of child custody battle and forget about the child. Always remember that you are trying to do things in the best interest of your children. Don't bash and bad mouth the children's other parent in front of them--even if the other parent is doing it to you. Allow your children to build relationships with both parents--unless, of course, it is dangerous for the children to be around the other parent. This is good for you because it will help you get through the tough times, and if you sincerely want this it will show through in court or mediation and it will help you win.

It can be comforting for divorced parents to know that most battles come to an end--and their's can too. Focus on the things that you can control, come up with your plan and be prepared, and remember why you're doing all of this. Then you will have a victory in your child custody battle.

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