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Author: Brenda Shoshanna | Total views: 3 Comments: 0
Word Count: 826 Date: Mon, 21 May 2007 9:56 PM

From Anger To Peace Of Mind

Anger is a serious problem for one in every five Americans. Road rage, workplace violence, domestic abuse and even addiction are just a few of its many expressions.

Today we fear all kinds of external enemies. It is not so easy to realize, however, that the worse enemy we face is the anger that resides within us, the terror it causes and the ways this poison affects so much of our lives. However, there are many specific steps we can take to root this toxin out of our lives. As we do the results will be reflected in our mental, emotional and physical well-being.

Anger has many faces. It appears in various forms and creates different consequences. Most anger lurks beneath the surface and manifests in hidden ways – as depression, anxiety, apathy, hopelessness, etc.

Some of The 24 Forms of Anger –

The first step in rooting anger out of our lives is becoming aware of it. When anger is allowed to remain camouflaged it holds us in its grip. By recognizing the 24 forms of anger, we will be able to shine a flashlight on the hidden enemy. Then we can choose to eliminate each one of these forms of anger, one a day and replace it with a healthy antidote.

To begin we will look at a few of the 24 forms of anger, and its effect upon your life:

Straighforward Anger – Attack.

This is anger that is clear-cut and easy to recognize. It comes right out and can easily turn into verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Many regret it afterwards.

Hypocrisy –

You are angry, but hide it beneath a smile and present a false front, pretending to be someone you’re not. Although you think you are fooling others, in truth you are losing yourself and your own self-respect.

Depression –

Depression is anger turned against oneself. It comes from not
being able to identify or express the anger one is feeling. This anger then turns into depression.

Passive Agression –

This is a form of anger expressed not by what we do but
by what we do not do. We refuse to give the other person what they ask for, want or need and make it seem as though they are the one that is overly demanding. This is a way of expressing anger silently and blaming the other for what we have set in motion.

Steps To Dissolving Anger

Needless to say there are many specific steps to take to undo different forms of anger. We will offer some samples. The important point to realize is that anger can be dsissolved in a moment. We can choose to see things differently. We can choose to make a different response.

It takes only a moment to escalate a situation, but in that same moment, the trouble could be de-escalated. We must stop in the middle of automatic anger that arises, and take charge of what is going on. We have the right and will to choose our response.

Sample Ways To De-Esclate Anger:

1)Straightforward Attack:

Stop in the middle of a situation in which you either feel angry or are being attacked. Expand your vistas. Rather than respond in a knee-jerk manner, say to yourself, “Like me, this person has suffered. Like me, this person wants to be happy, like me this person experiences loneliness and loss.”

As you do this, you are recognizing the similarities and common humanity you share, rather than focus on the differences. For a moment, allow the person to be right. You have plenty of time to be right later. Ask yourself, what is more important to you, to be “right” or to be free of anger, to be compassionate?

2)Hypocrisy:

When you notice yourself pretending, lying, exaggerating or deceiving, stop. Tell the truth at that moment. Be the truth. If you do not know what the truth is, be silent and become aware of what the deepest truth is for you and the other. (This will not only restore good will, it will connect you with what is most meaningful.)

3)Depression:

Make friends with yourself today. When we are depressed, we are rejecting, hating and blaming ourselves. Undo this false state of mind. Find five things you admire and respect about who you are. Focus on sharing your good qualities with another. In depression we are only absorbed with ourselves. A wonderful antidote is to become absorbed with how you can reach out to and help another.

As we root anger out of our lives, and find meaningful substitutions not only our lives but the lives of our loved ones, friends and acquaintances will be lifted and enhanced.

About the Author

Learn how to dissolve anger easily in award winning book by Dr Shoshanna, The Anger Diet .Top psychologist has helped thousands become stable and strong. Free ezine, www.brendashoshanna.com, topspeaker@yahoo.com




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