Word Count: 669 Date: Mon, 16 Mar 2009 11:32 PM
How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship
How do you tell if you are in a toxic relationship or not? Let us discuss:
You partner always tries to put you down in front of others. While your partner may tell you they love you, their action always contradicts what they say. You partner is always trying to control you and doesn't respect you. He or she will read your mail without your permission. Your partner may even stalked you just to see what you are doing. Your partner also want you to be dependent on him or her, and even try to change you.
Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?
A toxic relationship has a cycle. There's a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation, at which point the cycle begins anew.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they've sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.
One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they're doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.
If you want to get out of a toxic relationship, the very 1st step is to realize that you have the power to choose what you want. Often, people who stay in toxic relationships suffer from depression or have low self esteem.
When you realize that you do have the power to choose what you want, it is time to start standing up for yourself. Most probably, your partner may be trying to put you down and telling you that it is always your fault. Do not believe in these negativity or it may be hard for you to find the courage to walk out of the relationship, or even heal it.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
Still, there are others who choose not to leave since they managed to successfully mend their relationship.
The truth is that it is possible to save most relationships. Sometimes, it may take a little bit of counseling. Sometimes, you need to give your partner a little bit of space. What is important is that both parties are willing to put in the effort in order to resurrect the relationship bonds.
The 1st thing you have to decide is that your relationship must improve or you will not hesitate to move on. If you are not willing to move on and walk away, it will be very hard for you to heal what divides you.
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don't nag the other person. Simply say "I need your support", "I need your love",or "I need your truthful opinion".
As long as you do not get what you need, let the other person knows that you will not hesitate to walk away.
A healthy relationship needs contribution from both parties. In a toxic relationship, it is only a one way contribution. You definitely have the power to change that situation, but you must be willing to start harnessing the power.
About the Author
How to get my boyfriend back? How to get my ex girlfriend back? How to win my husband back? How to win my wife back? View more articles and videos on how to save a relationship.
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