Romance Rekindled

What exactly is Romance? Webster’s Dictionary defines romance as an emotional attraction. Though somewhat vague, I think all can agree it is definitely an emotion cultivated by love and affection. It begins with a first meeting that draws two people together and then progresses to long walks on the beach or all night talks on the phone. Eventually the emotion deepens to be a more powerful emotion…love. Love takes time and time can take its toll on romance. The newness of the relationship somewhat dissipates and the essence and abundance of romantic feelings begin to flow less freely. This obviously does not happen overnight and often is a situation realized one day in the middle of an otherwise perfectly awesome relationship. Where are the feelings of jubilation and joy our companion once brought? How can that level of romance be re-ignited? One word…work!

Perhaps not the one word many of you would prefer to hear. It is not a simple solution as the word itself implies some sort of effort on your part and perhaps your spouse. Marriages are not stationary but rather a series of ups and downs that make up two lives. In February of 1999, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology published by the American Psychological Association explored how love improves over time for romantic couples if satisfaction and commitment increase too. What does this mean? It means we need to rekindle the romance. But it is just not there you might say. That is where the commitment comes in. An increased commitment leads to increased satisfaction and increased satisfaction leads to increased romance – a perfect environment for love to grow and flourish.

So is it realistic to think that the romance and emotional highs you experienced at the onset of the relationship are obtainable at the same level? For some maybe but lets look at the new type of romance you stand to experience. Romance from inside a safe and secure relationship (no one is going anywhere…remember that was the commitment part). You have freedom of expression because you are unconditionally loved. You are with someone who knows you perhaps better than you know yourself at this point. And let’s face it, no one is perfect. If you were to exit the relationship then the next one may be better but it will undoubtly come with its own set of issues to work out. So why not enjoy a new beginning in this relationship. Reinstate your love with a romantic event. You know your spouse better than anyone so you know what makes them happy and what would be romantically appealing. Indulge in flowers, candles, chocolate, and lingerie. Get your hair done, put on his favorite outfit, and make reservations at his favorite restaurant.

Everyone but you seems to realize what a wonderful and beautiful person you really are. Remind him with a romantic encounter that is sure to ignite the smoldering coals into a major, 5-alarm fire that will not only burn for all to see but will be so strong nothing can extinguish it. Remember you are a magnificent woman!

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