Seven Signs of Marriage Trouble

The good news about marriage today is that divorce rates are down. The bad news is that an increasing number of marriages are unhappy. Unfortunately many people stay married because they simply cannot afford a divorce.

Couples endure an unhappy marriage for many other reasons but excuses usually include the children, they can't afford to split up, they really want to "keep a promise" or they just hate to admit defeat.

Marriages rarely die an immediate death. It's like the guy in a movie who gets shot several times but refuses to die. He stumbles and falls half a dozen times and just when you think he's fallen for the last time, he gets up again and reaches out for help. Except very few married couples actually do reach for help.

Many times this describes an unhappy marriage that hurts the husband and wife while they stumble and fall back but manage to hang on for one reason or another refusing to give up. And meantime they are refusing to admit the severity of the problems, kind of "hoping it will all go away."

Divorce can sometimes be a better alternative but only you and your spouse can determine that. If getting a divorce is the decision, the sooner you deal with it the better you'll become more emotionally stable and able to cope with the situation. Divorces can be devastating on the entire family, especially if you let them linger before reaching an amicable breakup, or worse, a breakup with terrible feelings.

The unfortunate truth is that people rarely get help when they should but when they must. People are smart when it comes to understanding their own situation. Most of us know when things aren't going right. But we often try to ignore the problems, hoping they will "go away."

There are signs of trouble in marriage and they're easier to resolve if you spot them early on. Small problems turn into big ones if you let your emotions get out of control. You may have seen some of these signs of trouble before the marriage but didn't view them as problems. Why? Because you keep hoping "something" will come along and make things better, or things will go back to the way they were before you started having troubles.

You may have married in spite of your better judgment and hoped your partner would change, or thought you could work your magic charm and change your spouse. This rarely happens. So, what are some of the signs of a troubled marriage?

1. You no longer have fun with each other. You try to go out and enjoy your time together. But no matter what you do, you wish you would have stayed at home and both of you are miserable.

2. Compliments are rare or non existent. Neither of you very many nice things to each other or about the other. On the contrary, criticisms are on the increase. It seems you can't do anything right and become afraid to do anything and withdraw.

3. You're happier when your spouse is not around. The only time you can relax is when he or she is not at home and you can enjoy being yourself.

4. Neatness issues become a problem if the other is a slob or a person who clutters and never puts anything away. One is always picking up behind the other. Or worse, one of you is constantly nagging the other to pick things up.

5. One tries to save and the other spends money frivolously. This can be a major problem if bills go unpaid. You never talk about money seriously because it always turns into the silent treatment or a fight.

6. A lack of intimacy or sexual activity is a classic example of a lack of love in a marriage. Have you stopped making love with each other? It might even be that one or both of you are involved in an affair.

7. You no longer can agree on future goals and refuse to discuss anything beyond today's schedule.

Either accept these qualities in your partner and accept your marriage the way it is, realizing that things will only get worse, or seek professional help. Qualified help can be found in person, in books or online.

The sooner you seek help the better. Marriage problems can cause depression and anger affecting the entire family. Watch for these signs of a troubled marriage and resolve to take action.

Seed Newsvine

Bookmark this article in your preferred program

Comments

Add Comment

Popular Articles in this cathegory

This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.