My Boyfriend Broke Up with Me

It's true. As of the writing of this article, less than a week ago my boyfriend broke up with me. I help women my age and older with dating, yet my boyfriend broke up with me. Ugh.

Without going into the details of my particular situation, I will simply say, "It hurt." So, what did I do?

Well, that is what this article is all about - what I did to take care of myself. I decided to sit down and write it because I am feeling better and better each day and want to share my process with as many women as possible.

The first thing I did was to talk about it with someone who I trust and who I know cares about me. I kept talking. I have a solid network of family and friends who I go to for support when I need it. So, I was able to pick up the phone and call someone to talk to whenever I needed to do so.

If you or someone you know recently experienced a break up, make sure you're talking it out with people you trust. It's very therapeutic. If you do not have enough people to listen to you and support you, then go to a professional therapist. It's critical for your emotional well being that you process what you've just gone through. Doing so will also enable you to truly move on and experience love again in the future.

Second, I cried a lot. Whenever I felt the tears coming up I would go to a safe place and cry. At work, I went to one of the ladies rooms that is a single bathroom so that I had privacy. I also went for a walk so I could cry and even sat in my car and had a good sob.

Avoid holding in your feelings and thinking you have to be "strong." You don't. You're human and someone just hurt you so allow yourself to be human and express your feelings.

Third, I am not calling my now ex-boyfriend. If your boyfriend just broke up with you I strongly recommend that you do not call him either. Sit on your hands if you have to in order to keep from calling him. Ask one of your friends or someone in your family if you can call them instead whenever you feel the urge to call you ex.

Calling him is not going to make you feel better. It's actually going to make you feel worse. He just ended the relationship with you. He's the last person for you to go to for support.

Here is another point about calling your ex: If your situation is such that you think he may come around (mine isn't ...), it's in your best interest to let him do so on his own. You'll feel far more secure in his choice to come back compared to you trying to get him to come back. But, if you haven't heard from him in eight weeks, do yourself a favor and move on, no matter how hard it might be for you to do so.

The forth thing that I am doing to heal from my break up is to go out. Since my boyfriend ended the relationship with me I have been out with a group of friends, to dinner with a girlfriend, and to a musical with another girlfriend. I also helped one of my girlfriends shop for furniture today.

Something else happened today - it is the first day since the break-up that I haven't cried. Now, I know that doesn't mean I won't shed some tears tomorrow or the next day. But, what it does tell me is that by doing the things I described above I am taking pretty good care of myself and am healing from this breakup.

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