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How does addiction play a major rule in extramarital affairs?

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One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The partner involved in the affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying "NO." He/she may want to, but feels compelled to say "yes."

People canГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅt say no? Well, I believe we all have the capacity, at some level, to say no. However, not all have developed that capacity or reached that level to firmly say no and mean it.

Some are ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅstuckГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ and seem to lack the ability to consistently act on the ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅno.ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ Please remember that all of us are ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅgrabbedГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ by something and find it difficult to let go. Infidelity when connected to sexual addiction and its many forms, however, becomes a powerful focal point.

How to know if infidelity is attached to sexual addiction:

1. Sex takes on an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual release becomes a powerful force. Acting on the sexual impulse is a frequent activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple ways of acting out sexually (porn, strip clubs, multiple sex partners, etc.) are common.

2. This activity is bound by fear. The person lives with fear: the fear of getting caught, the fear of consequences, the fear of ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅbeing found out,ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ the fear of being abnormal, the fear of being punished, and the fear of losing family, spouse, job and respect.
One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The partner involved in the affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying "NO." He/she may want to, but feels compelled to say "yes."

People canГўпїЅпїЅt say no? Well, I believe we all have the capacity, at some level, to say no. However, not all have developed that capacity or reached that level to firmly say no and mean it.

Some are ГўпїЅпїЅstuckГўпїЅпїЅ and seem to lack the ability to consistently act on the ГўпїЅпїЅno.ГўпїЅпїЅ Please remember that all of us are ГўпїЅпїЅgrabbedГўпїЅпїЅ by something and find it difficult to let go. Infidelity when connected to sexual addiction and its many forms, however, becomes a powerful focal point.

How to know if infidelity is attached to sexual addiction:

1. Sex takes on an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual release becomes a powerful force. Acting on the sexual impulse is a frequent activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple ways of acting out sexually (porn, strip clubs, multiple sex partners, etc.) are common.

2. This activity is bound by fear. The person lives with fear: the fear of getting caught, the fear of consequences, the fear of ГўпїЅпїЅbeing found out,ГўпїЅпїЅ the fear of being abnormal, the fear of being punished, and the fear of losing family, spouse, job and respect.

3. A promise/failure cycle ebbs and flows with the inability to say no. After an ГўпїЅпїЅacting outГўпїЅпїЅ episode the person usually experiences guilt/fear and promises to self or others, ГўпїЅпїЅI wonГўпїЅпїЅt do it again.ГўпїЅпїЅ This will last...until the ГўпїЅпїЅurgeГўпїЅпїЅ is acted upon again. The spouse may be aware or unaware (but sense that something is not ГўпїЅпїЅrightГўпїЅпїЅ) of the ГўпїЅпїЅroller coasterГўпїЅпїЅ and succession of broken promises.

4. Others are used or seen as objects for personal gratification. No true intimacy is developed.

5. Sexuality is often confused with other needs or connected to unresolved past pain or trauma. A child who experiences confusion around sexuality or sexual abuse of one form or another, may carry along that confusion and attempt to ГўпїЅпїЅwork that throughГўпїЅпїЅ in a marriage or extramarital affairs. (I worked with one woman who ГўпїЅпїЅusedГўпїЅпїЅ a one-night fling with a significant person to ГўпїЅпїЅclear upГўпїЅпїЅ a particular issue.) She was free of that ГўпїЅпїЅurgeГўпїЅпїЅ from that point on. No one ever knew. Could she have chosen a different way? Maybe.

6. Such a person lives in a distorted world. They come to see the world and relationship through the eyes of their ГўпїЅпїЅaddiction.ГўпїЅпїЅ They have a great capacity to rationalize their behavior, deceive others and may lead a ГўпїЅпїЅdualГўпїЅпїЅ life.

Tip: If you suspect these characteristics fit you or someone you love, get some help before your world disintegrates further or falls apart. Life can be different. Life, sexuality, a truly intimate relationship IS different. You can get there. You are stuck, and need some true love, care and guidance to arrive at the next level.

Did you find this article useful? For more useful tips and hints, points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques, and insights pertaining to love and relationships, do please browse for more information at our websites.

3. A promise/failure cycle ebbs and flows with the inability to say no. After an ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅacting outГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ episode the person usually experiences guilt/fear and promises to self or others, ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅI wonГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅt do it again.ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ This will last...until the ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅurgeГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ is acted upon again. The spouse may be aware or unaware (but sense that something is not ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅrightГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ) of the ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅroller coasterГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ and succession of broken promises.

4. Others are used or seen as objects for personal gratification. No true intimacy is developed.

5. Sexuality is often confused with other needs or connected to unresolved past pain or trauma. A child who experiences confusion around sexuality or sexual abuse of one form or another, may carry along that confusion and attempt to ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅwork that throughГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ in a marriage or extramarital affairs. (I worked with one woman who ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅusedГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ a one-night fling with a significant person to ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅclear upГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ a particular issue.) She was free of that ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅurgeГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ from that point on. No one ever knew. Could she have chosen a different way? Maybe.

6. Such a person lives in a distorted world. They come to see the world and relationship through the eyes of their ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅaddiction.ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ They have a great capacity to rationalize their behavior, deceive others and may lead a ГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅdualГѓВўГЇВїВЅГЇВїВЅ life.

Tip: If you suspect these characteristics fit you or someone you love, get some help before your world disintegrates further or falls apart. Life can be different. Life, sexuality, a truly intimate relationship IS different. You can get there. You are stuck, and need some true love, care and guidance to arrive at the next level.

Did you find this article useful? For more useful tips and hints, points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques, and insights pertaining to love and relationships, do please browse for more information at our websites.

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