Stop Being Needy to Be Attractive to Your Guy

One of my girl friends called me in tears a while ago. Another boyfriend had broken up with her and she was clueless of the real reason

"He never returned my calls" she tearfully said.

"How many times did you call him" I asked. I was suspicious already of the answer.

"About four times! And he didn't bother calling me back once!"

....and she was still wondering why he hasn't called.

I'm sure we all know someone like my friend. The tragic thing is she doesn't even know that she is showing neediness. It is a sure way to turn off men.

She has a big fear of being left because it has happened time and time again. Plus each time it happens, it makes her needier. She is trapped in a vicious cycle and she doesn't know how to get out of it.

Being needy in a relationship isn't about needing to talk to someone numerous times a day. It means that you need constant reassurance that your boyfriend loves you or that you are attractive to him. Many people are conscious of their neediness but unsure on how to handle it.

You could take things to the other extreme, like playing hard to get, but try to strike a happy balance. Desperation is a huge turn off, as is acting as if you are not interested. Many people get it wrong.

The longer you are with a guy, trust should naturally build up. You need to respect the other person's time and their life outside of being with you.

Don't ask for reassurance all the time! Questions such as, "do you love me?" and "do you find me attractive" are not necessary. If your partner didn't like you, or love you, they wouldn't be with you now.

If you have just met a guy, give him some space.

Otherwise, you will see the first signs of wanting out. You don't need to call one another every day. Although, if both of you like contacts, that's fine.

Become a good judge of character. What seems fine to one person can be perceived as needy to another.
A good way to stop being needy in a relationship is to force yourself not to be. OK, it may be easier than it sounds but remember earlier relationships.

Don't forget how your neediness scared your previous partner away. Do you want that to occur again? Of course not. Stop asking for reassurance all the time. Stop phoning all the time.

Have a life outside the relationship also. Practice your hobbies and hang out with your friends. If your life is centered on your boyfriend, this will make you needy. If the relationship fails, you'll feel you've lost everything.

Being needy in a liaison is a big error. You have to understand there is no reason to feel that way. Take pleasure in spending time with your partner and realize that he is with you because he wants to be.

Nobody is faultless and a relationship needs some work. There is always going to be someone smarter than you or more attractive than you. Your guy is with you because he loves you!

Stop acting insecure. You will still have needy thoughts. Push them aside and enjoy your life.

After a while, it will be your new behavior and your relationship will be better than ever.

Seed Newsvine

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