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What to Expect at a Jewish Wedding: A Quick Guide for Non-Jews and New Converts

According to Jewish law (Halacha), there are two segments to a Jewish marriage. The first being the engagement ceremony (Kiddushin) which changes the couple's status and announces they are preparing for the second part of marriage, known as nissu'in, which is the legal portion of the marriage, or the actual wedding.

Teachings of the process of finding a spouse, the wedding ceremony, and the importance of the marital relationship are available in the Talmud, which is the oral interpretation of the Torah. The Torah is the first five books of the Bible and contains the entire body of Jewish teachings.

When a couple decides to marry, the families usually announce the upcoming wedding with a small reception (vort). Traditionally, a contract (tenaim) is signed which gives the conditions and obligations of the couple and families regarding the marriage. This contract is sometimes signed previously, or at the wedding reception an hour or so before the marriage. After the signing, light snacks and some hard liquor is usually served for the traditional salute or toast (lechaims).

The groom, his Father, his Father-in-law, and the male members go to the room where the bride is receiving her guests. The groom does the veiling (bedekin). The bride sits, like a queen, on a throne-like chair surrounded by her family and friends. The groom, who has not seen her for a week covers her face with her veil. This ceremony is mainly for the legal purpose of the groom identifying the bride before the wedding.

A canopy (chuppah), which is a decorated piece of cloth, symbols the home of the new couple. The canopy is usually outside, under the open sky, as a sign of the blessing given by G-d. The parents of the groom accompany him to the chuppah. He usually wears a white robe (kittel), to symbolize the bride and groom are starting a new life, with a clean white slate, without past sins. In fact, the bride and groom usually fast on the day of the wedding. While the bride comes to the chuppah with her parents, a cantor sings a selection from the Song of Songs, and the groom prays that his unmarried friends find their true partners in life.

When the bride arrives at the chuppah she circles the groom seven times with her mother and future mother-in-law, while the groom continues to pray. This symbolizes the woman is the protective, surrounding light of the household and illuminates it with understanding and love, to protect it from harm from the outside. The number seven parallels the seven days of creation, and symbolizes the fact that the bride and groom are about to create their own "new world" together.

Under the chuppah, the Rabbi or a family member recites a blessing over wine, and a blessing that praises and thanks G-d for giving us laws of sanctity and morality to preserve the sanctity of family life and of the Jewish people. The bride and groom then drink the wine. The blessings are recited over wine, since wine is symbolic of life: it begins as grape-juice, goes through fermentation, during which it is sour, but in the end turns into a superior product that brings joy, and has a wonderful taste.

Marriage is a holy institution in Judaism. An unmarried person is considered half a person, the wedding day is seen to be the beginning of a new life as a complete soul for both the bride (Kallah) and groom (Choson).

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